Pages

9/09/2013

"Happy birthday, Linda" said God

If I were pregnant today, I would be pregnant without medical insurane.
If I were pregnant today, I would be pregnant without my c-section fully healing and with the dream of a natural birth in my next pregnancy gone.
If I were pregnant today, I wouldn't know if I would still have a job or if my employers would fire me.
If I were pregnant today, Emmalee won't even be 1 and a half when the baby is born doubling my diaper expense and having to care for two infants.
If I were pregnant today, I would have not taken the five days of strong antibiotics I took for a throat and sinus infection, possibly harming the baby.
If I were pregnant today, despite all of the above, would I be grateful and joyful?
It is a really good question because the only untrue statement of everything above is that I am indeed pregnant.

Yesterday I was called a Thomas by my husband.
The doctor told me the baby looked in perfect condition and was most likely not harmed by the meds I took, yet there I was trusting my good old pal Saint Google. "You are Thomas," my husband said, "You'll not believe until you see the baby; just like Thomas, the disciple, wouldn't believe Jesus' resurrection unless he put his fingers through the scars in His hand." There is so much truth in his words that I can feel the shame feeling my cheeks. "Will you not trust in God's will without an ounce of hesitation?" he ends, giving me a good challenge.

Is the challenge what's to come with this pregancy or my trust in God? Will I not live by the words I preach? Will I not show that a child is a blessing no matter the situation?
And take my situation into account. The probabilities of us getting pregnant while using protection according to most condom boxes is of .03% against a 99.97% of effectiveness. Talk about God's sovereignty! Talk about hushing the preacher preaching reproduction shouldn't be in your hands and trying to control hers!

There is life growing in me again. I hadn't even lost all the weight I wanted to, and I'll be real honest, I'm not looking forward to blowing out again. But it's life. Life! Is there a greater miracle? A greater joy? A greater blessing?

I had my first sonogram last thursday. You can already make out his head and hear his heartbeat. I cried at his sight and left the room with a smile from ear to ear. Did I mention it was my birthday that day?
"Happy Birthday," I could hear God saying.
Have you heard a happy birthday from God like that one?
One of my first reactions: "I got pregnant before I turned 28!"
Women! But hey, I wanted lots of kids in my youth!

Then comes the typical comments: "Now you won't be able to have all the kids you want because you can only have three c-sections!" As if I or God would let that be an obstacle. Maybe I'll just adopt more than one child (For those of you who don't know, adoption has always been part of the plan anyways)

I've written of the amazing testimony of my friend Isaac and his family and the ordeal they lived with the heart defect of their newborn baby girl. Isaac words were "This is just a time to show I have a real faith in a real God." Their baby girl got her heart surgery last month donated by an organization and she is recovering completely normal and healthy. God is great. I won't act like one who questions that!

And so, you can congratulate me because before you know it we'll be a family of four, by the grace of God.