My fellow countryman are undergoing a crisis due to all-out traffic stoppage engineered by the transport industry in protest to the endless raises of fuel prices. The prices on pretty much everything have been escalating alarmingly since the fraudulent re-election of Juan Orlando Hernandez.
People think that because I have moved to a different country, we expats don't have a say on the actual crisis.
Well, let me tell you what life as an immigrant looks like:
I had exactly $80 on my wallet. That is ALL the money we had. We don't have savings. We don't have anything on a bank account. That is it. We have to make due with that until my husband's next pay check next Monday. Our grocery bill is usually $120. Seems steep, doesn't it? If it doesn't to you, let me tell you that it is actually extremely steep. I knew we couldn't postpone it any longer; we needed to go to the grocery store today. I told my husband in the car "no luxuries today." He nodded grimly.
I am placing our purchases on the conveyor belt, feeling commiseration for how scarce it looks. I feel the urge to complain in my heart start rising, when I notice the young man in front of me. He has grains and legumes and a bag of bell peppers. His dirty clothes make me infer he has a blue collar job and that is probably what he could afford this time. Why the bell peppers? That is beyond me. But while my cart has none of our luxuries like: orange juice, microwave popcorn, and fruit, it does have some meat and poultry, even if not for everyday. Still, the bill comes out to $74. My husband has a few bucks and he is a few cents short of $10 (adding the $6 I have left over) to make due with gasoline until Monday. We might not be able to drive to church on Sunday though.
This is not our situation every month, but this is also not the first time this happens either. Panama is one of the most expensive cities to live in. We would NOT by any means be able to make it in this city if it wasn't for my mom's help. The apartment we live in is hers, but she lets us live here rent free.
"You don't have a say on the Honduran situation. You left the country."
Well, let me tell you how and why I left the country. I am a computer science engineer. My husband is a civil engineer. Both are respected careers, but here in Panama they are considered restricted careers. It means that someone with a communications degree has to simply present him or herself to immigration with his or her college degree, pay some fees, and be granted a professional visa and a work permit. Since my husband and I have a degree in a restricted field, my husband HAS to study an MBA to get his residency while remaining legally in the country with a student visa, while the girls and I are on an immigration process for illegals who have remained in the country with no visa for longer than a year, waiting for an appointment to get our residency with immigration. The ONLY way to apply to this visa IS REMAINING illegally in the country. It is the ONLY visa I can apply for (unless I too study an MBA) because I don't have $300,000 needed to apply for an investor visa. Even with work permits, the chances of my husband and I being allowed to work on our respected fields are slim. So two respectful engineers have slim chances of becoming legal, getting good employment, and making it in one of the most expensive cities in Latin America. Why immigrate?
My husband and I always said we wanted to be out of Honduras before the 2017 elections. I was working in the government and everyone there knew Juan Orlando was going to go for a re-election and was going to win. (Still have doubts there was a fraud?) The funny thing is that we were both working on our fields, I as info-technology department chief for the National Social Intervention Bureau for the Secretary of State and my husband as Supervising engineer for the Patuca III hydroelectric plant construction. We were making two engineering salaries and still couldn't afford to move out of my in-laws house. We had saved enough money to do so in the month of May. We were doing so well that we were also planning of adding another child to our family. If you read my blog, you know that ended with a miscarriage at the beginning of April and a breast cancer diagnosis at the end of April, sending our May dreams to oblivion.
Even before the cancer roller coaster started, we were searching for ways to leave Honduras. It was not a good place to raise our kids anymore. We were working long hours on hard jobs (my husband was travelling long distances only visiting us twice a month) and not making enough to be independent, have our own house, or send the girls to a good school. We knew things would only get worse after the 2017 elections.
It was very devastating to see my friends and family have a hard time during Christmas time with the protests and vandalism that happened after the fraud elections of November. What happens in Honduras still affects me directly because I see how hard my father and my father-in-law work and they are unable to make it on their own either. My father lives in my grandmother's house and my father-in-law lives in my husband's grandfather's house. Since I left, my dad has had heart surgery and a car crash. If he had gone to the public hospital, he would be dead because that is how bad public health is in Honduras due to the government's corruption. He is in deep debt because he had to save his life going to a private hospital. Since losing his car in the crash, he has struggled even more to move to his day job and oversee his cafeteria (yes, my 65 year old father works two jobs and still can't afford his own place).
If you are an American reading this still thinking that people fleeing Honduras are lying about the situation, please let me tell you that my family and my husband's family are middle class. The families that risk the borders with coyotes with their children are low class, where the violence, gang infestation, and poverty is so extreme, a life as an illegal seems like a dream come true.
Many of my friends wish they could leave Honduras too, but they don't have a relative outside willing or capable of helping them like my mom helps us. We didn't want to move out of the country so poorly prepared and with so little to our name, but I felt really strongly that I needed to have my family close to my mom if the worst came to happen and my cancer claims my life early. If I were to die, my mom would be the closest thing to myself both in nature and in love for my daughters.
Today I wish I could be in Honduras to march and protest with them. I know many of my friends don't agree with the protests and they are being deeply affected by the stoppage as well. I am sorry you are going through this hard time, but this is a time to stick together as one nation against the corruption and impunity of the government and say "Enough is enough." I feel a heavy burden to pray for Nicaragua and their civil war, but I also feel proud of their courage, determination, and unity and wish to see that in Honduras.
Is a civil war needed to stop the government? I sincerely hope not. But I also don't see things getting better for my country. It hurts to see our beautiful country, rich in beautiful people. places, and resources be subjugated by an oppressive and corrupt government. My mom has always warned me of publicly speaking against the government in the event that this could come back and bite me in the tush. I am willing to take that risk.
I am praying for everyone having a hard time right now with the situation in Honduras. I know many are losing money, clients, and jobs with the crisis. I pray God will provide and make a way. I pray He will keep you safe and out of harms way. I pray for you, my Honduras, and grieve for you tremendously. I pray for immigrants all around, fleeing harder situations than mine and having less than the $80 I had tonight which will be enough to keeps us going. I grieve because they are being greeted by other countries with xenophobia, ILLEGALITY, inability to become legal, no refuge, no help, no understanding. I pray you are never received by others the way you have received the needy of today.
People think that because I have moved to a different country, we expats don't have a say on the actual crisis.
Well, let me tell you what life as an immigrant looks like:
I had exactly $80 on my wallet. That is ALL the money we had. We don't have savings. We don't have anything on a bank account. That is it. We have to make due with that until my husband's next pay check next Monday. Our grocery bill is usually $120. Seems steep, doesn't it? If it doesn't to you, let me tell you that it is actually extremely steep. I knew we couldn't postpone it any longer; we needed to go to the grocery store today. I told my husband in the car "no luxuries today." He nodded grimly.
I am placing our purchases on the conveyor belt, feeling commiseration for how scarce it looks. I feel the urge to complain in my heart start rising, when I notice the young man in front of me. He has grains and legumes and a bag of bell peppers. His dirty clothes make me infer he has a blue collar job and that is probably what he could afford this time. Why the bell peppers? That is beyond me. But while my cart has none of our luxuries like: orange juice, microwave popcorn, and fruit, it does have some meat and poultry, even if not for everyday. Still, the bill comes out to $74. My husband has a few bucks and he is a few cents short of $10 (adding the $6 I have left over) to make due with gasoline until Monday. We might not be able to drive to church on Sunday though.
This is not our situation every month, but this is also not the first time this happens either. Panama is one of the most expensive cities to live in. We would NOT by any means be able to make it in this city if it wasn't for my mom's help. The apartment we live in is hers, but she lets us live here rent free.
"You don't have a say on the Honduran situation. You left the country."
Well, let me tell you how and why I left the country. I am a computer science engineer. My husband is a civil engineer. Both are respected careers, but here in Panama they are considered restricted careers. It means that someone with a communications degree has to simply present him or herself to immigration with his or her college degree, pay some fees, and be granted a professional visa and a work permit. Since my husband and I have a degree in a restricted field, my husband HAS to study an MBA to get his residency while remaining legally in the country with a student visa, while the girls and I are on an immigration process for illegals who have remained in the country with no visa for longer than a year, waiting for an appointment to get our residency with immigration. The ONLY way to apply to this visa IS REMAINING illegally in the country. It is the ONLY visa I can apply for (unless I too study an MBA) because I don't have $300,000 needed to apply for an investor visa. Even with work permits, the chances of my husband and I being allowed to work on our respected fields are slim. So two respectful engineers have slim chances of becoming legal, getting good employment, and making it in one of the most expensive cities in Latin America. Why immigrate?
My husband and I always said we wanted to be out of Honduras before the 2017 elections. I was working in the government and everyone there knew Juan Orlando was going to go for a re-election and was going to win. (Still have doubts there was a fraud?) The funny thing is that we were both working on our fields, I as info-technology department chief for the National Social Intervention Bureau for the Secretary of State and my husband as Supervising engineer for the Patuca III hydroelectric plant construction. We were making two engineering salaries and still couldn't afford to move out of my in-laws house. We had saved enough money to do so in the month of May. We were doing so well that we were also planning of adding another child to our family. If you read my blog, you know that ended with a miscarriage at the beginning of April and a breast cancer diagnosis at the end of April, sending our May dreams to oblivion.
Even before the cancer roller coaster started, we were searching for ways to leave Honduras. It was not a good place to raise our kids anymore. We were working long hours on hard jobs (my husband was travelling long distances only visiting us twice a month) and not making enough to be independent, have our own house, or send the girls to a good school. We knew things would only get worse after the 2017 elections.
It was very devastating to see my friends and family have a hard time during Christmas time with the protests and vandalism that happened after the fraud elections of November. What happens in Honduras still affects me directly because I see how hard my father and my father-in-law work and they are unable to make it on their own either. My father lives in my grandmother's house and my father-in-law lives in my husband's grandfather's house. Since I left, my dad has had heart surgery and a car crash. If he had gone to the public hospital, he would be dead because that is how bad public health is in Honduras due to the government's corruption. He is in deep debt because he had to save his life going to a private hospital. Since losing his car in the crash, he has struggled even more to move to his day job and oversee his cafeteria (yes, my 65 year old father works two jobs and still can't afford his own place).
If you are an American reading this still thinking that people fleeing Honduras are lying about the situation, please let me tell you that my family and my husband's family are middle class. The families that risk the borders with coyotes with their children are low class, where the violence, gang infestation, and poverty is so extreme, a life as an illegal seems like a dream come true.
Many of my friends wish they could leave Honduras too, but they don't have a relative outside willing or capable of helping them like my mom helps us. We didn't want to move out of the country so poorly prepared and with so little to our name, but I felt really strongly that I needed to have my family close to my mom if the worst came to happen and my cancer claims my life early. If I were to die, my mom would be the closest thing to myself both in nature and in love for my daughters.
Today I wish I could be in Honduras to march and protest with them. I know many of my friends don't agree with the protests and they are being deeply affected by the stoppage as well. I am sorry you are going through this hard time, but this is a time to stick together as one nation against the corruption and impunity of the government and say "Enough is enough." I feel a heavy burden to pray for Nicaragua and their civil war, but I also feel proud of their courage, determination, and unity and wish to see that in Honduras.
Is a civil war needed to stop the government? I sincerely hope not. But I also don't see things getting better for my country. It hurts to see our beautiful country, rich in beautiful people. places, and resources be subjugated by an oppressive and corrupt government. My mom has always warned me of publicly speaking against the government in the event that this could come back and bite me in the tush. I am willing to take that risk.
I am praying for everyone having a hard time right now with the situation in Honduras. I know many are losing money, clients, and jobs with the crisis. I pray God will provide and make a way. I pray He will keep you safe and out of harms way. I pray for you, my Honduras, and grieve for you tremendously. I pray for immigrants all around, fleeing harder situations than mine and having less than the $80 I had tonight which will be enough to keeps us going. I grieve because they are being greeted by other countries with xenophobia, ILLEGALITY, inability to become legal, no refuge, no help, no understanding. I pray you are never received by others the way you have received the needy of today.
