Learning Whom I have believed

II Timothy 1
12 "...I know whom I have believed..."

II Timothy 2

13 "if we are faithless, he remains faithful... "

15 "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth."

19 "Nevertheless, God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: 'The Lord knows those who are his,' and, 'Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness.'”

24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.

Dear Father,

Why is it so easy for us to forget whom I have believed? I hear people sharing phrases like: "Don't tell God how big your problems are; tell your problems how big is your God". This is truthful, then why do we forget so easily? I see how big a difference being firm in this truth makes me surrender and give my life to You. I don't want to live outside this truth ever again. I want to live in the assurance that the Almighty God is Whom I serve, and He looks after me.

If I am faithless, You remain faithful! this almost brought me to tears. Oh Father, I am so faithless. I loose sight of Your power and sovereign and see only what's infron of me. I am so grateful You are faithful. I wonder how greater things You would have done in my life and the lives of those around me had I had faith. Had I prayed more fervently believing I would receive what I asked for according to Your will. Had I preached more constantly believing the power in Your Gospel to reach the lost. Had I taken more steps in faith, and not seeing, again, what's infront of me.
I remember asking my youth deacon many years ago how to have more faith. He said the disciples asked that same thing to Jesus. Jesus answered: "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." (Mathew 17:20). It is not about the size of my faith, but the size of Him Whom I have faith in! And He is faithful!

Knowing Whom I have believed also makes me conscious of Whom I HAVE to obey. This world has diminished the image of God so much even Christians forget to fear You. Present yourself to God approved and turn away from wickedness; this is not a request! I have been encouraging a dear loved one of mine to not loose sight of this truth. In this world, we are tempted to stray away from good. This feeling is heigthen when we see the wicked prosper; Solomon warns us of this in the book of Proverbs. No, I must remember Who my God is, and I must follow what You has instructed me to do.

Knowing Whom I have believed doesn't make me obey You only because it reminds me I must fear You; but also reminds me that Your promises are true and this world is not my home. It gives me hope that my dear Lord is preparing a home for me in Heaven. It reminds me this world (with all its suffering) will pass ,and I must seek first Your Kingdom.

Thank You Father for Your faithfulness. I timothy 1:9 "
He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace."

I love You.


Watch your mouth

"She looks just like her Father," EVERYBODY (except for my family members) says to me.
And it gets to me. It gets to me bad.

"Thank God she is beautiful," a friend from church says jokingly, "She looks nothing like her parents."
"Why did you want to have a girl," a woman who I just met at a birthday party says, "Don't you know girls are nice with their dads but their mother's nightmare. Just wait til she's 12 and your worst enemy. And that hair looks messy."

Seriously, what makes people thinks it's O.K. to make these kinds of remarks?
Why does my daughter have to grow to be a nightmare?
And why do you think you can insult me to my face and call it a joke?
"Everything anyone says of Emmalee affects you," my darling husband tells me.
And so, I pondered on both subjects.

On the first one, I was recalling a sermon my youth Pastor Gustavo had given many years ago. I was probably 14 when I heard it and it stuck. The teaching was about controlling your tongue and my readers will know I have a problem with letting my tongue run away with me. The Pastor was pointing out ways we sin with our tongue so that we may be able to more attentive to these situations and learn to control out tongues. The points I remember are: 1. When we speak of others. 2. When we speak in anger. 3. When we speak untruthfully. 4. When we speak too much.
That last one hit a chord. It's the time we sin with our mouths more oftenly without realizing we are using it to sin. We open our mouths too quickly without realizing that what we said was hurtful. No wonder the Bible says:

Proverbs 17:28
27 The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint,
and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.
28 Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent,
and discerning if they hold their tongues.

As to the second point, everything affecting me, he is right. The "he looks like his father" one hits me hardest.
Well, if you look at our baby pictures, she looks more like me than her dad, believe it or not. I'll be posting evidence later. It isn't that it bugs me that people thinks she looks more like her dad because I want them to think she looks more like me. I could care less if she looks like me. It just bugs me because she is a baby girl. She has girly facial features! If she were a baby boy, by all means tell me he looks like his dad. But the truth is why do I care what people say or who they find her resemblance to? She is actually a pretty perfect combination of both and waaaaaaay prettier than any of us anyways. I can't let this be affecting me and making me harvest ill feelings to the people, tons of people, who make these comments.

Proverbs 19:11
A person’s wisdom yields patience;
it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

Well, the Lord is teaching me alright. For someone who has experienced the hurt of her tongue running away with her, most of the time not on purpose, it should be easier for me to see people don't mean wrong. They're just opening their mouth to talk for talk's sake, as you have done many times. Satan is going to try to use that against you. It made you stand up from that table at that party and walk away from that lady. Did you share Jesus with her? Did you open up to form a relationship with her to later introduce Him to her?
And this church friend is known for those comments. You have loved him just the same all this time. Why will you become upset with him just because you are letting the subject of your daughter be a soft spot for you? Will you let it be a soft spot for you?
Remember when you were a teacher and some parents would overreact when you tried to talk about their kid's needs? Well, will you be that kind of parent? Will you be beyond advice, counsel, teaching? So right now what gets to you is the "she looks like her father," what they might say in the future could be much more personal. I'd rather be, as the verse says, wise to yield patience.
Next time people tell you, and you know they will tell you, she looks like her father, just say: "Well, her daddy is very handsome too," which he totally is.


Baby Learning Part 2

Time for another baby learning post.

1. Baby sleep.
It's 3 a.m. and I wake. I normally don't wake up unless she cries. No sound is heard but I am up with an urge to check the baby. I don't take this to mean anything as it's my every waking moment's reaction. And there she is, sleeping soundly... on her tummy!!!!
I immediately turn her and go back to bed, but back to sleep?
The impression hits me hard. A coworker's 7 month-old niece died the morning before.
I'm shaking so hard my husband awakes.
"Go to sleep," he tells me after I tell him of Emmalee's new sleeping position.
"What if I go to sleep to wake up and find that she's gone?" I say through sobs that might as well wake her up.
"What does the Word say," he encourages, " In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord,...- What? How does the verse end?-Make me dwell in safety."
Thank God for good husbands who recite the Word to you.
Saturday afternoon I found her napping on her tummy again with her face pressed against the bumper.

So here are the lessons I've learned this past days:
1. It is better to be safe than sorry. If the American Academy of Pediatrics is telling you to put the baby on the crib without sheets, comforters, crib bumpers, and stuffed animals, go ahead and obey!
Many parents will tell you their kids used all of the above mentioned and are just fine. Well, in one of the mommy forums I was researching what to do with Emmalee's crazy sleeping movements (she moves all around the crib) I read a comment from a mom that pretty much spoke from my heart:

Quoting Ashley:
I know those experts now say that crib bumpers are dangerous and babies can get their heads stuck underneath them. I don't see how that can happen. I used a crib bumper for both of my children the day I brought them home. They do move around a lot and sometimes fall asleep with their faces pressed up against the crib bars... not comfy!! I would say you are safe to use it now.

My lil guy moved around alot as well once he figured out how to turn over both ways...and I did have bumpers in the crib and he did end up with his face pressed into the bars anyway. I found him like that -doing a routine check on him after putting him to sleep. His little body all weirdly angled his head pushed way back his face pressed deeply into the cushion that shouldn't have been there had I listened to experts. I'm just wondering what you would prefer -your child to be a little uncomfortable because of non-cushioned bars, or would you prefer to find your little princess like that face in the cushion all comfy and still....

Well, needless to say, Emmalee's crib has been bared to only the fitted crib sheet. She sleeps with thick pijamas that do the job of keeping her warm through the night.
I also read this article that I related alot with. I would take sleepless nights with a waking baby any day if it means she is safe!

While researching baby sleep I also learned a couple of new lessons. Take in mind that baby sleep is a very controversial subject as every expert has a different approach and all of them contradict each other. It makes a mommy go cuckoo bananas.
But I found these new lessons interesting:
1. Encouraging a baby to sleep too deeply, too soon, may not be in the best survival or developmental interest of the baby.
Nightwaking has survival benefits. In the first few months, babies' needs are the highest, but their ability to communicate their needs is the lowest. Suppose a baby slept deeply most of the night. Some basic needs would go unfulfilled. Tiny babies have tiny tummies, and mother's milk is digested very rapidly. If a baby's stimulus for hunger could not easily arouse her, this would not be good for baby's survival. If baby's nose was stuffed and she could not breathe, or was cold and needed warmth, and her sleep state was so deep that she could not communicate her needs, her survival would be jeopardized

2.An important fact for you to remember is that your baby's sleep habits are more a reflection of your baby's temperament rather than your style of nighttime parenting.
And keep in mind that other parents usually exaggerate how long their baby sleeps, as if this were a badge of good parenting, which it isn't. It's not your fault baby wakes up.

This last comment brings me to baby learning part 2 of this post:

2. Parenting badges
Lets face it, we want them! We want that nicely behaved kid that is a delight to be around. We want those kids who sit at the table and mind their manners. We want that A student. So lets make two things clear: these are traits of older children, not babies, and these are achieved by nurture and not nature.
But parents take pride in their babies development. A mother boasts her baby boy learned to walk at nine months. The other one boasts of her baby girl speaking her first words at eight months auguring signs of genius.
Research actually shows that giving formal education to your children too early is actually hindering their ability to process information and hinder their creativity and curiosity. (More of this in the future)
Babies who were shown how to walk too early have shown deformations on feet, back, and/or legs.
Emmalee is sleeping through the night. It has given me a sense of accomplishment (after all, babywise did promise results if I was diligent).
This is no badge. It doesn't mean I'll be that lucky with the next baby. It doesn't mean I have a better parenting style than parents with babies still waking up during the night at nine months-old.
Lets learn to kick back and enjoy watching those little ones. Lets learn from these early stages of motherhood not to boast and not to compare and above all, not to hurry those little ones.
Emmalee looks so cute when she is sitting on her own pulling on her feet. I want to bathe the dogs really well to have them near her. I can't wait to see her pull their legs and ears!
It's all about enjoying!

I'm excited to be posting soon what I learn of feeding her solids!!! She starts next month!

That's how that munchkin wakes up!


Dear Emmale/ 5 Months

 Dear Emmalee, 
You are so perfect to me. 
You are such a kind baby. I know I've said that before but it's true. 
 I don't know your temper yet, but you are so pleasant to be around. 
You are giving mommy some big scares. I've found you twice sleeping on your tummy and one of those times you had your face stuck against the crib's bumper. You move all around your crib while you sleep, just like your Uncle Ditto. No pillows or stuffed animals in your crib anymore. 
You can sit down on your own! And when you hear music, you seem like you want to stand up and dance. 
The one that makes you laugh the most is your dad. He was on vacation this months so you guys spent alot of time together. 
Mommy bought you this gorgeous crocheted shoes from my friend Ally but you are such a difficult shoe wearer. You take them off over and over again. I had to modify them a little so it wouldn't be so easy for you to take them off. Sorry, mommy wants to see you in shoes or else you'll be like me who loves to walk barefoot and daddy hates it. I'm being more obedient to please him and to not give you a bad example. 
We bought you a stuffed dog that sings and teaches you the numbers, the abc, and the colors. You like him alot but mainly because of the songs and the lights that sparkle and to put his feet, hands, and ears on your mouth. You'll appreciate the educational value later on, hopefully. I know you will, no pressure. 
Baby you are so blessed with your daddy. He even takes the time to put together outfits for you that have matching headbands and shoes/socks. He plays a game with you that I call Jaws. He looks at you and makes the "ba dum" of the Jaws soundtrack while you look at him attentively, knowing he is going to do something. As he keeps making the "ba dum," you get brighter with this huge smile and when daddy burries his face on your belly you laugh out loud. The next time he does it you are laughing out loud at all the "ba dums." It's so precious to me to see you two together. It's a wonderful thing to watch, a daughter and father relationship. Cherish it, little one, not all babies have it. 
But you will always have your heavenly Father. I'll be excited to see that daughter/father relationship form as well.
I love you my beautiful!


Mommy confessions

I thought I was different... Above it, would put it better.
I don't need to live my life under the expectations of others!
Well, what about your expectations?
And, either way, your expectations are shaped under other's shadows anyways.

I'm drying up. (Some of these motherhood things are hard to write about. Bear with me)
Yep! My daughter is not 5 months yet and my milk production has plummeted. I wanted to exclusively breastfeed. My first month back at work proved that difficult, but she was only taking one or two bottle formula a day and then taking the breastmilk bottles I'd leave. Pumping in the office's bathroom was hard and time consuming and I was getting stares from everyone. Three pumpings a day became two, then one, then none. The last week I pumped maybe I could express an ounce of milk, which seemed not worth all the trouble it required. It was all good since my milk supply was enough to feed Emmalee in the late afternoon, night, late-night, middle-of-the-night, early morning, and morning feeding and I was satisfied with that.
Not anymore. I barely have for that middle-of-the-night feeding, which thankfully has been needed less and less since Emmalee is sleeping through the night (Hooray!)
I feel let down. Let down by my body and by my expectations. I feel a failure. I have serious guilt feelings about this issue that has taken sleep away from me.
"I'll feed her all her first year," I said all the time I was pregnant.

I watch TV with her.
Right now Emmalee is beginning to learn how to giggle. It's the cutest thing. Sometimes she giggles like those babies on tv commercials, but most of the time her "giggles" sound like a squalling bird gasping for air. It's hilarious! Interaction time is longer and more varied, but sometimes she just sits on her infant seat and just stares at her fingers before taking them to her mouth and repeats, or lies in her baby gym and stares at the roof. So I watch the Big Bang Theory with her next to me.
"I'll give her early stimulation," I opened my mouth to say.

I get tired. 
Sometimes I just want to get home and lie in bed. Sometimes I don't want to gobble my food down because somehow everytime I'm eating Emmalee wants to be held or fed at that exact moment. Sometimes, I don't want to bathe her because she fell asleep and bathing her means repeating the process of getting her asleep all over again.
"When what you are doing is worth it, you find the strength for it," I naively proclaimed.

I'm depressed about my body. 
It hits me harder some days. It especially hits me hard when someone approaches me and says: "Are you pregnant again?" I even replied that once with a "Don't be stupid!"
Six months I have to wait to be able to workout again.
"Damn that c-section," I have thought. Really? You know how high infant and mother mortality was before c-sections were available? Do you realize you AND your daughter could have been in those numbers had it not been for your c-section?
Recovery takes longer. We knew that already. The injury makes your belly swell through the day making you look fatter at the end of the day than you did in the morning.
Dropping pounds is hard when you can't diet much because of milk production but you aren't losing weight because you are barely breastfeeding.
Clothes still don't fit after almost 5 months. And I won't even mention the marks in my body.
My sister looks at my belly and says "Those stretch marks are treatable. You should do something about them," to which I said "Why bother? This is just the first of many children."
"I don't care about looks. Motherhood is more precious," a fully convicted Linda professed.

Motherhood is not all peaches and roses.
It's not always pretty and I'm just getting started.
I am human and I lose sight of what matters.
This confessions don't even include my guilt feelings of being a working mom and many more confessions.
Sometimes I need to write down what's bugging my insides and look at it face on. I need to put the things that are bringing me down against the light and truth of the Word of God.

Don't forget your calling:

Titus 2:5
To be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Never lose hope:

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Emmalee will grow at her own pace. You will teach her much. Just do the following:

Deutoronomy 6:6-7
6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Most important truth on the matter of beauty: Your husband sees you beautiful:

Songs of Solomon 4:7
You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.

1 Peter 3:3-4
Do not let your adorning be externa, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

God's beauty I should seek:

Psalm 27:4
One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.

You'll have to longer for that physical exercise, but it is of little value anyways and spiritual exercise is at hand.

1 Timothy 4:8
Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next.

And for your haughty expectations and ranter:

Romans 12:3
3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.

Yep! That's what I needed!
Oh the light of the Word!
Something bringing you down? Bring it against the Word!

She IS all peaches and roses! :)


Bittersweet first Mother's day celebration.

That's how little Emma went dressed to our mother's day celebration.

"Will you go to the mother's day meeting tomorrow?" my sweet mother-in-law asked me. She and the other wonderful ladies of the woman's ministry of our church had been planning the mother's day reunion for weeks.
I didn't have money to pay for my ticket. I didn't know my darling husband had bought one for me already!
It filled my heart with such joy.
"Can I take Emmalee with me?" I asked.
"Why don't you leave her dad and have the night free?" she replied.
"No. I get so little time with her. I would rather stay home with her," I replied a little stubbornly.
"Well, then bring her. She is a darling anyways," she said witha smile.
I'm excited for tonight for my first mother's day celebration at church. I have served in many of those meetings as a waitress, a singer, and a decorater. Today I'll be celebrating with the other moms and taking my daughter with me (It's a good thing she is little and well behaved.)

You would think that I always put time with my daughter first. You'd be wrong. I wrote of the agony (yes, agony) I went through on my first day back to work here. Now that it's been a while, I'm numb to it? Is that the description I'm looking for? Accustomed? So is the case that I've mused with the idea of continuing to work full time and put Emmalee in a nursery and later a school so we can afford our own house and give her things we never had. I hear my husband say these words alot: "Give them what I never had."
My husband and I have come from different worlds.
He was raised by his mom and dad with little riches.
I was raised by a single mom who was very prosperous financially.
I had my first car when I was 17. I was given my first credit card which mom paid fully when I was 18, and I got to travel. These are the things my husband speaks of giving our kids.
He was raised in a house where mom and dad slept in the same room, all the family ate dinner at the table together, dad loves mom and mom is submissive and serviceable to dad. These are the things I speak of giving to our kids.
I always tell my husband he grew richer than I. Why would I lose track of the riches I want my daughter to enjoy?

And it saddens me how little I and those around me know of parenting.
I wonder if I asked any young couple now what the purpose of having children is what would their answer be?

Psalm 127:3
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Psalm 128:3-5
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord. The Lord bless you from Zion! May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life!

"Why would you want so many children?" I'm constantly asked in church. 
And I ask myself, "Well, what do you believe when you read verse like these that say 'Blessed is the man who fill his quiver with them.' 'Thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord'?" I love how children are compared to arrows. Our children are to be God's emisaries to spread the gospel and make disciples all around the earth. They are alive for His purpose. And how are we to beat the world if they are superior in numbers? And thus the more arrows the warrior has the more marks he'll hit, the more damage he'll make, the more impact he'll have. 

I've been reading alot about abortion. Abortion is still illegal in my country, thank God. But abortion in other countries breaks my heart. And I have wondered what I can do to stop it? What can I do to be used against this movement? And I feel shame because I've contributed to the thinking that got it legalized in other countries and the reason why it's being pushed to be legalized in mine: Discrimination. 

I was a teacher to grades 7th to 11th in 2008 in my old school teaching English class. I loved being a teacher. I loved sharing with my students and teaching them and trying to move them to be more like Christ. I had this 7th grader who was shy and unpopular. I tried to spend time with her make her see who precious she was for Jesus. I befriended her on facebook to keep contact while I was away in Mexico. She changed school and started hanging with a different crowd. Her body bloomed and with it her popularity and friends count. She started posting provocative pictures of her on facebook. I adviced her a couple of times and after a while decided to erase her from my friends. I found out through her brother that she had a baby girl two months after my own. I remember thinking: "Poor baby, to be born to such a mother." I had discarded her for her attire choices when it was clear she was desperate for approval. 

Why has abortion become legal?
Because girls get pregnant and become ostracized for their irresponsibility and sinfulness; the rejection mainly from their families and church. 
This is not a "poor baby" as I judmentally affirmed. This baby is loved and lucky. Mom's all over the world are murdering their children inside them. This young ex-student of mine was brave enough to bring her child into the world and grant her life.  
How many times have you passed judgment to other mothers for their children making a fuss in the supermarket? How many times have you judged single mothers who have children from different fathers, none who married them? How much good has these judgments done to them or the world? What good have you contributed?
Passing judgment is easy (and let's not forget completely forbidden to us Christians!)
Were are we being like Christ? How are we loving our neighbor? How are we tending to the sick and sinful?

In this month of mother's day celebrations I want to stop and pray for the unborn and ask that they get a chance at life. I want to pray for those mother's who have aborted and that they might find forgiveness and hope. I pray for the valiant mothers that are parenting in the "not-ideal" situation and doing it alone. I want to pray for myself and ask that God grants me the wisdom to raise my daughter for His glory and fill my quiver with many arrows. I want to be humbled, broken, and forgiven for all my sins and be granted compassion and grace instead. 

I invite you to read this blog:
It truly touched my heart. 

Let us stop our rejection of what on my church has come to be known as the "whichi wachi" christians (The Christians who don't wholeheartdly commit to Christ and continue to purse attitudes and practices of the world.)
That girl you are rejecting because she dates alot is trying to fill a void in her heart.
That girl you are rejecting because she dresses inappropriately and flirts alot might be hurting inside.
That friend who likes to drink and smoke might just be trying to fit in so he/she won't be alone.
And Jesus would sit with them and share time with them and be put into the same group as them for hanging with them.
Will you accept the unaccepted to show love and hope when most show rejection? Will you help stop the mindset that drives woman to abortion instead of adoption?
Or for that matter, the mindset that drives the christian living in sin to go away from church?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't reach out more to my little student. I'm sorry I instead judge her and judge her motherhood quality. I'm sorry I thought my daughter had it better with me as her mother. Lord, teach me. Teach me humility. Don't let pride rule my life. Teach me I'm no better mom the next. Teach me the only way I'll be a good mom is by closely clinging to You and your principles. Teach me love, true love, the hard kind of love, the type of love that can love the unloved, the type of love that gives and does not receive, the type of love that never gives up and is unconditional. Let me raise children that will love like You. Only You can save us from ourselves. Let me raise children close to You.  



Is it good? Is it bad? Does it cause you to dream big? Does it move you to discontent on finding it's only a dream?
I have found both questions to be true.
I love pinterest. I'm not a crazy pinner pinning everything she sees, but I like to scroll, search, and see other people's boards on many things. I don't like to pin something I don't intend on making. Pretty much everything I pin I put my hand at work.
But there is so much more I wish I could pin and I know I don't have the time.
And then I am tempted to pin "for the future" and this brings sadness to my heart.
What if that future never comes?
And I hate being peisimistic. Being optimistic has brought so much more.
However when I browse pinterest with an optimistic view I start listing all the things I want to learn to do:
Reupholster furniture, paint and stain wood, carpentry, sewing projects, gardening, baking, cooking, decorating, teachings, crafting.
I want to do it all.
You see, DIYing fills my heart with joy.
Putting my daughter's shoes on and seeing how gorgeous she looks on something I did just makes me smile.

I read a blog from a homemaker who dreams on having a homestead. I like her blog because of the healthy recipes she posts but more often than not I find her discontent on the fact that she desires a homestead so badly and she has to slowly build up from where she is. Even with all her disappointment of not being where she wants to, I see that she manages to get more and more done and come closer to her dream.

This makes me questions dreams. Some of your dreams won't come true. How will you cope with that? With a grateful heart? But more importantly, how far will you go to make your dreams happen? And this is where I tell this heart of mine to be still and wise and act with caution.

DIYing makes me extremely happy. It doesn't matter if it's 2 am in the morning and I'm still at work on my sewing machine and I have to get up early to go to work the next day. I am so happy doing a project I don't mind. But my body minds.
My body passes the check the next morning or the next week and my health is the on that's charged.
My family time is also charged with my love of DIYing.
Will I use the little time I have with my husband and daughter locked up in my craft room?  (Yes, feel free to be jealous; I have a craft room ^_^)
It all becomes a balancing act.
If Emmalee is asleep and the hubs has the need to play some FIFA on his PS3, then by all means use that time to enjoy some DIY, but otherwise, it's not the time.

I'm using a small example of "small" dreams that you pursue while you sacrifice another part of your life. Don't wait to have children because you want a bigger bank account or a your own house. Your fertility will not wait forever. Don't wait on getting married because you want to do this or that before. Do it with your husband!
A couple told us they didn't want to have kids yet because they wanted to travel first. Well, we already traveled with my daughter and we are planning on traveling again soon. And BTW, a baby's plane ticket is super cheap or no charge at all (depending on the plane company). I paid $33 for Emmalee on our flight to Panama.

And if yes, some dreams get put on hold or completely canceled, don't be discontent.
I see other women's blogs with their beautiful decorated houses or their gorgeous gardens or sewing projects. I think to myself: I could do that. But if I'm not doing it now at least be doing something that matters for eternity. At least be investing your dreams and energy and joy on things that matter to God like your family, your husband, your daughter, your neighbor, your friend in need, etc.

But I guess I would also tell my heart to no stop dreaming. Never stop trying, never stop pursuing, never stop learning and improving (always under God's will and guidance). To those that tell me they can't do the things I can I tell them I'm nothing especial. The difference between you and me is that I have tried to do it and succeed and you have never even tried.
Take joy on the little things. Take joy on how blessed you are to be alive and to know God.
I am thinking of doing some DIY posts on the blog but I don't want to forget why I started this blog.
It's not meant to be an "OOH! look at all the things I can make" or "see how creative and amazing I am." It's not meant to try to match the beautiful DIY blogs that has millions of readers. It's meant to record my life and what I learn from every breath I take and how I want with every breath give God glory.
And I must put DIYing under the scope and analyze what the Lord is trying to teach me with it: patience, contentment, wise use of my time, joy, hope and dreams, love.

My DIY is not perfect but is done with love.
Here are pics of Emmalee on her lovely DIY shoes (Seriously, baby shoes are so expensive and she'll wear them for two months tops. It's ridiculous. DIY is also good for the economy!)

And I got to decorate a baby shower with sweet friends (which makes DIY time so much better)

Yep, DIYing is fun! :)