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2/11/2014

Life as parents.

It is true, everything they said.
Money would be tight.
Nights would be long and bodies would ache in restless pain.
Nothing would ever stay in it's place and the ornaments wouldn't last.
You or what you like to do would have second place or no place at all.
Your dreams would be put on hold, probably permanently. 
You will wash more, clean more, swipe more, bathe more, dress more,
Experience more unpleasant smells, 
Have sore arms from carrying,
Have no space in the car trunk.
You will feel alot more tired and sleep at any chance anywhere, embarrassment is no longer an issue.
You will adjust your tv favorites channels for channels you would never watch voluntarily.
You will have toy songs stuck in your head popping at any moment.
Your pets will be in second plane as well.
You will have never gone so little to the movies or out for dinner, and don't plan to anytime soon.
Going to the gym is just a dream.

It is true. I won't deny it.
But it is also true that you have never been happier.
That watching that little face smile when you enter the room makes life worth living.
That, while having her on your bed makes you sleep stiffly, getting to hold her hand and hear her breathing brings more peace than any rest can.
That every time she says mama, even if she is crying at 3am, makes you feel important.
That everytime she sleeps peacefully and happy you feel like you did something right in your life.
That every new thing she learns is worth a celebration and more filling to your soul than any dreams put on hold.
That eventhough there is no money and times are so hard, hearing her laugh can make you believe, have hope, and gain strength.
That looking into her eyes reassures you of a God in heaven, Who is not only real, but loving and awesome, and greatly to be praised.
That arriving home and getting to throw yourself on the floor to play with her is the highlight of your day and you can't wait to repeat it the next day.
That every moment apart you are anxious for the moment back together again.
That nothing helps you grow more humble than learning from a child, and you realize that in fact she has a lot to teach you.
That the future you care about now is her future, rather than your own.
That you have never been more in love with your husband than when you watch him play and laugh with her.
That you really need to pick a good life partner because a good husband is worth more than anything.
That a plastic bag or a cardboard box is more fun than expensive Fisher Price toys that you don't need.
That your pets matter more to her now and she is the one who spends time with them.
That you love more whoever loves her.
And no matter how hard, or tired, or difficult, or expensive it is, you would do it again in a heartbeat!

I can't wait for life with two girls. I can't wait to meet my Kaylee and watch Emmalee as a big sister. 
We have never had as many problems as we do right now. 
We spent more than twelve hundred dollars on that car and it stills needs more repairs.
We are close to maxing out our credit card and have no other means to pay for necesities like food and gas, or rent, which I still haven't paid this month.
We are desperately looking for a job for Rodolfo because with my maternity leave I will have my paycheck cut even thinner and we can't make it with my full paycheck as it is.
I have a ton of work to do before my leave and I haven't even started preparing the material for the substitute teacher.
Emmalee is not sleeping through the night for the first time in her life, unless she is sleeping in our bed.
Other moms says it is because she can "feel" she will have some attention competition soon, and she especially wants mommy's attention.
Mommy is feeling huge and uncomfortable with her bulging belly.

And yet, I wouldn't change anything. The Devil brings thoughts to my mind of how better we'd be if I still had my old job. If I did, I would probably have a shorter list of amazing times with Emmalee. I would have less financial problems, granted, but at a price I am not willing to pay. Changing our diet to rice and beans would be preferable than that. 
And yet, I am also resting on the Lord like never before. He will provide, as Jehova Jireh always does, and will also be our Jehova Shalom, our Prince of Peace. He blesses us continuously through my mother and my in-laws, and through the body of Christ, and our beloved friends. He will bring Kaylee with the necessary provision, as children are a blessing of the Lord, and we couldn't be happier to become aunt and uncle to my dearly beloved sister Jenny. 
Emmalee and Kaylee will be also joined by many more wonderful babies from wonderful friends I am grateful to share this experience with.
And I am so grateful for my wonderful, loving husband and for the father he is. Lucky girls!


Oh how I love this little rascal!