weekly grattitude

YIKES!!! Wrote this yesterday and forgot to post it :D

Monday morning. I gotta be honest. Not happy it is monday morning! But time with the Lord, gratefulness in the heart, and a cup of coffee might change that. Let's see how it goes.

First, after a long YAWWWWN right now, lets go to the wonderful word of God and bathe in beauty to find it and Him on this day.

Ephesians 3

16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I pray this for YOU and ME!!!

*110 a week ahead full of tests (spiritual tests =S Scared but excited for the growth it will produce. You don't make it easy right Daddy? If it is easy, it is not worth it!).
*111 strongly praying for my mother.
*112 technology that makes comforting and accompanying my mom possible.
*113 the great example of a hard working father and husband for my husband. (The great father-in-love!)
*114 a very weakening flu.
*115 a day home resting because of such flu!
*116 still learning gentle and quiet spirit. (Still failling, but still striving.)
*117 one hundred "I am sorry"s handed to my hubby.
*118 the "sorry"s accepted with a hug back.
*119 the hubby getting to play soccer this week. (he had been longing to!)
*120 the long awaited reunion with my beloved daughters (ex-students of mine who call me mom! :P)
*121 a sleepover with such daughters.
*122 making pizza with my beloved while catching up, sharing, and unloading. Oh the beauty of friendship!
*123 making smores while talking and sharing some more.
*124 a very very very proud-filled heart (in the good way) for my girls! (two HS valedictorian, med students, fervent servants of the Almighty, gifted, talented, beautiful, humble, gentle, kind, darling daughters!)
*125 a friendship strong eventhough life separates us sometimes.
*126 a beautiful worship time at candle light with my beloved.
*127 a wonderful prayer time, laying down her lives and mine to You, faithful Father!
*128 reminiscing. watching fotos, remembering friends, and special moments.
*129 remembering long forgotten songs played in 180! coronas, llevame a ese lugar, te reto a avanzar, cambiando mi afliccion, nada es mejor, escuchaste las montaƱas and more!
*130 remembering long loved dc talk albums!!! free, free, im free at last! (Guess my girls are finally free from their mother's singing! uuuu, groovershark idea for the rest of the week! yay)
*131 a little note from daughter Adina on my Bible! :)
*132 a quiet, yummy pancake breakfast with daugther Denisse just the two of us.
*133 a clean house with the help of the hubby and daughters.
*134 new look for my church! good job father-in-love!

I love You Lord!!!


weekly grattitude

Good morning!

Another week! Yay! Waking early in the morning and getting ready to work. That thought of murmuring and laziness creeps up your back making its way to your head, when the grattitude thoughts scares it away and invogarates you to start joyful and strong.

Okie dokie, let that grattitude begin!

89* the hubby finished the trimester!!!
90* all the late night, crooked back, aching legs and neck working with the hubby on his final proyect.
91* a vacation that had to be postponed for the best.
92* being lovingly taught by my Heavenly Father humility and a low spirit.
93* a saturday spent completely with the hubby!
94* over sleeping!!!! (much needed)
95* serving my hubby and spoiling him a little. (this week he enjoyed a full massage and all his favorite meals :))
96* cares from my hubby when i feel sick.
97* my food processor. makes life easier and cooking faster :) happy!
98* making home-made tomatoe sauce filled with veggies that the husband eats and loves!
99* a stressful project at the work finally reaching its end!
100* an all-boy slumber party on my living room! o_O. Do I love the hubby or not?
101* a tower of pancakes for the hungry boys.
102* a weekend filled with delicious foods and weight-guilt! lol
103* a call with a dream from mommy.
104* Lanky's neck injury healed :)
105* a husband with a servants heart for everyone.
106* a quick talk with a friend who confides in me after all this time. I love you Ricardo Ruiz!
107* cooking with the hubby.
108* late movie in the arms of my hubby.
109* Ephesians chapter 3.

Thank You Father,
I realize everyday how inmensely blessed I am.



Luke 6

42 How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Today I have received two beautiful lessons that I would like to share with You, Father.

First, I was meditating on something Hernan said last night when we bumped into him at the grocery store. We were telling him how happy we were my husband will not have classes on the weekends this trimester so we won't be up all friday night working anymore. We will be able to go more to church and be more involved. He very briefly shared a lesson he had taught at the group, especially for married couples. He said the title of the sermon was "Waking up with the greatest sinner.." Many in the group looked at their spouses and smiled; some even pointed fingers. And as he went with the teaching, he let them know that the greatest sinner they wake up with is themselves. I thought that was a fairly good lesson, but as I meditated on it more and more, I saw the huge lesson behind it.

One of my coworkers was having a bad attitude. Shortly after, I had a similar incident that made me have a bad attitude. As I sat and analized my actions I realized something: I am worse than they. I have the Holy Spirit within me. I know that I don't have to be carried around by my flesh. I have commandments that send me to be kind, gentle, and respectful always. Yet, I do not just act like them, I am worse. But what is the lesson behind this truth?

1. It makes me be humbled down.
2. Being conscious of this truth, makes me close my mouth more.
3. It reminds me to guard my heart, my mouth, my thoughts.
4. Makes me seek You more faithfully and desperately.
5. Makes me pray harder and longer.
6. It obliges me to respect other as greater than me, for I am no better.
7. It teaches me to be merrciful and compassionate to others shortcomings, having a greater list of shortcomings myself.
8. It makes me think more before opening my mouth.

I can keep on. Guess I have been on a series of learning who I really am versus who I thought I was and might still think I am.

Here is the second lesson. Because we have the office vacated all for ourselves during lunch hour, we watch a movie while we eat. Now, we only have an hour to eat, so a movie goes on for two days. Today we were finishing 127 Hours (awesome movie, highly recommended). It is the story of a self-centered, independent, self-sufficient man who takes a trip to a canyon all by himself without letting anyone know where he went. He gets trapped in the canyon, were he realizes he can't continue living his life the selfish manner he has carried (a lesson learnt at a high price). At the end of the movie, he has gone through so much hardship you feel as though he is not gonna make it. And then you see him spot a family that were hiking and he screams with all his might: "HEEEELP!! HELP ME! I NEED HELP!" Yikes, just writing it down and remembering the scene makes my eyes watery. Not an easy thing to do, is it? To acknowledge YOU need help. After so long of going at it alone. After so long of relying on yourself and your capacity. To be put in a situation were you have to scream "I need help."

I wonder how often we realize this truth as well: we need help. And i wonder how often we do end up asking for help, even at times when we know we need it and can't do it alone. Oh prideful human being. Self-centered state of being!!!!

Now, marriage has really soften me. Before, I wouldn't accept help carrying something heavy. Now, if my husband is not there, I am completely useless. jejeje.
He has taught me there are others there for me and it is not a sign of weakness to ask for help.
Do we apply this to those areas we want to hide. Those that are our hardest to deal with, yet we still haven't sought help?

Dear Father,

Thank You for these lessons you have given me today. Help me to make them realities in my life. To constantly realize my sinful, lowly nature so I may never have high eyes. Never think I am better than anyone. Never forget to forgive for You forgive me countless times every day. To learn not see the speck on others eyes, when I can't see clearly. Take me further in this lesson of humility by learning to ask help, seek counsel, and open up those areas I do not wish them to be seen. May whatever I do take bring me closer to crushing my pride, so that You may grow and I may disappear.

I love You.


Remember Peter

I still remember when I was told this story. The person who shared it to me was most patient and caring with me. It was a time were my ever present, noticeable, loud, and prominent weakness would cause me to move away from You. Big was my shame, but bigger was my pride. How could I have reacted that way? How could I have done that? Yeah! mighty, all-sufficiente, independent, and amazing ME??!!

It doesn't seem that way, doesn't it? It appears that I am reluctant to come before my holy King because I am ashamed of my sin. It doesn not seem that I do not want to come to the pressence of my Lord because of my shame that I failed. I was so willing. I claimed "here am I, use me!" And I started my walk passionate and strong. When did it get to the point I believed I will no longer fail? And many might say at this point: "Yes I fail. I sometimes lie. Sometimes speak out of place or unkindly. Sometimes I get angry." I am not talking of this kind of fail (which did also move me away from my Lord); I am talking about the big FAIL, like the kind King David committed.

So this was me. Thinking I really tried hard to learn, serve, obey, give, and act accordingly. Thinking that with all that effort and strength I put in, there was no way I should fail. And when I did, and big time, I could not face my Lord. I forgot He was my beautiful Saviour. How was I gonna stand before Him after I had failed! And, at this time, I didn't sit back to meditate: Who did you think you were?

And here the life-changing story I received one blessed night from that blessed friend.

"Remeber Peter.I love remembering Peter.

Peter was fishing when Jesus met him. He had been unsuccessful to catch a fish all that day. And Jesus tells them to throw the nets to the other side of the boat. And they fished plenty.

Here Jesus tells him: "You will no longer be fisherman of fish; from now on you will be fisherman of man."
Peter became known as the outspoken, passionate, quick, willing, and brave disciple.
When Jesus asked His disciples: "Who do you say I am?" Peter was the only one and the first one to claim: "You are the Christ." No hesitation. Complete faith and conviction.

When he saw Jesus walk on whatever he demanded: "Tell me to go to You."
When Jesus was going to be arrested, he was brave enough to get a sword out and cut off a man's ear.
There is no doubt Peter was passionate about Jesus.

And then Jesus tells him: you will deny me three times.
And Peter gets up his chair and exclaims this will never be so. How can it be fathom that he will fail his Lord.

And we all know the story.
Before the rooster's song, Peter denies him thrice! I think it's the book of Luke that says that when Jesus was coming out of the court, His and Peter's eyes crossed, and Peter was filled with grief.

I can only imagine what went throught his mind. The disappointment, guilt, disgrace, shame! Peter felt unworthy of going before the Lord. He was not there for His crucifxion. His shame was such, he not only moved away from Jesus, he went back to his old ways. He went back to fishing fish.

And here is the wonderful story. Peter is back in the boat unable to catch a fish. Jesus again tells them to throw the net to the other side and they fished plenty.

When Peter realizes it is Jesus, he throws himself to the water and swims ashore. He finds Jesus with fish already cooking in a fire. Again I can only imagine how Peter felt. He knows Jesus knows he did deny Him. He knew it the second their eyes crossed that terrible day. That day his bravery was not, his faithfulness to his word was not, his unwavering passion for Jesus was not. Peter felt he could no longer follow Jesus. How could he after HE had failed so badly! He was a lie, a joke, a traitor. All that was left for him after being such a failure was to return to be a fisherman of fish.

I imagine what is going through his mind: 'What will Jesus say? Will He point out that I denied Him? Will He reproach it? Will He tell me that I told Him I would never denied Him and I did?' And Jesus tells him: 'Do you love me?' 'Yes, Lord You know that I love You.' replied Peter. Is Peter hesitant of this thought in his mind? No, he loves Jesus undoubtedly. Do you love me? two times more. "You know all things. You know I love You." And Jesus' answer? Never fail again. Be perfect. Never have to deal with your weakness. Never need a lesson of grace, humility, mercy, and unconditional love? "Take care of my sheep." What?! Me? Undeserving me? Failure, traitor me? Well, Peter did love Jesus."

What a story. It brings me to tears. It is not about what I can do or who I am! Hard lesson to learn. I wrote untop that I didnt sit back to meditate who did I think I was. So, back then, who did I think I was? I thought I had to be the one to make Jesus proud. The one who could be without blame or fault. The better disciple. Such a deceiving thought isn't it? Be excellent for Jesus; Be the best you can be for Him. Sounds good? It is pride, pride, pride. I should rename my blog: Discovering pride in the depths of the heart. How will you give God glory if your aim is to give yourself glory by being the best for Him for you? (I hope you get what I am trying to say here.) Had I not placed close attention to the lessons Jesus gave His disciples? The lessons of being last; the verses of being low and humble!

I can come before God because of Who He is, not who I am. I am nothing. I can share the countless lessons I have received from this story. It truly changes me. I still learn plenty and more. His grace when I turn to my old ways. His mercy for my failures. His love when I finally humble myself and face Him. His strength that sustains this useless self to something useful.

Ah! What an awesome God! Maybe I'll write my remember David post one day. :P

I love You Father. Never cease to amaze me!


Purple paws!

Yellow awesome Lord and Father!!!!

I have such a long list this week! You know, a few weeks back I wouldn't think my list of things I was grateful would be so long. And when I write my list I think to myself: "What a great life you live!" and I would have also not think that a few weeks back. It is not the things that happen in our lives that make it great. It's our attitude towards them as we choose to see them through Your eyes and with grattitude. I have been making a goal to be grateful for both the good and the bad. I have little bad to be grateful for!! How merciful and kind You are to me, sweet Father! :D

69* my hubby passed all his classes!!! what a hard trimester it was, but we got through!
70* i got vacations and we are taking a trip this week!
70* a visit from family long-time-no-see! I had not seen my cousin Alex for almost 15 years!!!
72* sharing time with my coworkers, and being able to serve them, cook for them, and get them eating vegetables (they not knowing it and liking it :D)
73* making chocolate chips cookies everyone loved and asked for the recipe!!! (biggest flatter to a cook)
74* learning from Mary's (Jesus' mother) example. Been meditating on her character all week!
75* an Ulloa family dinner. we are loud, talkative, numerous, and joyous.
76* sharing time with my Ulloa Aunts! ther are amazing!
77* having them over at my little house.
78* hearing my family say how much they like my husband and they are happy I found such a man!! (he is a success with everyone, even my grandfather who barely talks loves spending time with him).
79* finding why Lanky's paws were stained purple. They were getting purple and purple and we couldn't find why. Finally, after long search, my hubby found why. She had been playing with a ink bottle (don't know where she got it). super grateful it didn't make her sick and she didn't swallow some.
80* learning that I have to work harder on controlling my tongue but being able to refrain it a little bit more.
81* seeing my beautiful Adina!!! Just for a little time, that bright I get from her will last me a month!
82* liking to chat again and being able to talk with friends I dont get to see much (mexican friends, old classmates, and more).
83* feeling the nights last longer and feeling I spent a lot of time with the hubby.
84* not spending money buying lunch cus I was able to make it all week, eventhough I went to bed late.
85* air freshner! I got a sensor matic that sprays only when it senses movement!!
86* Bethany Dillon's music!
87* If I am grateful for bethany dillon's music, i'd be unfair not to add: third day, casting crowns, jon foreman, switchfoot to the list :)
88* having time to go to 180!!

I am so excited about this week. So humbled by Your many blessings and lessons. Help me to sing and not thump, but thank You for being the Potter forming me and molding me. Thank You for Your promise to be perfected in You through You for You.

I love You!!!



Dear Father,

You know, back when I began journaling in 1999 (Seriously??!!! WOW) I used to write down every single thought on my mind. This is the reason I had a disclaimer on the first page of the journals for curious eyes. I thought of doing that here, but there are some things that are still for that secret place of ours (Wish I had written down the tabs for that song I wrote. lol).

Mainly, all the writing was just my heart being poured completely to You, and, somehow, receiving wisdom, answers, light, mercy, and more in that same writing (Kind of me writing the first part and You the second). I loved how I could talk to You about anything and everything. It made You a real friend of mine. Made You the person I wanted to tell Him about my day, open my heart, say my thoughts. I would thank you for a new set of color pens. Tell You of a quarrel I had with a friend. Cry when I was hurt. Tell you of my vacation or trip. Tell You of my doubts and fears. Tell You everything! I have been influenced by other blogs to make this one relational for others or even "teachy", but it was not the purpose for which I began it.

I started it for many reasons: 1) I was not finding time to sit and write on my paper journal; I have the computer with me all day and could make the time. 2) I was dieing to have that close relationship with You again and recorded on writing. 3) I wanted it to be public so my family away could still know my heart, joys, and struggles. 4) SO that others could read of an honest relationship with You, with no hidden agendas or intentions, just my everyday life with You.

I will try to write this post as I would in my journal.

Hello Daddy,
How are things up in heaven? I saw the sky when I went outside the office and thought of Your awesome magnificence and creativity. Wish I could paint like You. Speaking of painting, I had been dieing to do some crafts (don't get to do many now that I am no longer a teacher) and I made an inspirational board and a picture frame to embellish the fridge. It turned out pretty nice!

In the board I wrote down some scribbles of a sermon by Gustavo Zepeda about weak woman. While he spoke of the qualities of weak women, I made two lists: his list of qualities of weak women, and the antithesis. I had them on the fridge already, but in the back of a envelope in pencil. They look quite nice now and hopefully will draw an eye from visitors. Mainly, I want it to remind ME of the two lists and which one is prevailing in my life, where in the list I stand, and which areas I am being a weak woman.

I am glad to report I have been moving some qualities I was strongly in the weak side over to the strong side (with time with You, Your Word, and Prayer. Never could I alone). But, there are still areas I am stuck in the weak area. Very much stuck. One of them: soft answer. Ugh, that proverb of the soft answer has haunted me forever.

I have a post it on the top right corner of my screen with my reminders: drink your eutirox (my daily pill and I still forget), send the daily reports, remember a quiet and gentle spirit, and answer kindly and softly. This are my struggles big time. And with reminders like this, I still fail.

Today I let frogs and snakes out of my mouth in rage (most in my head thankfully). Then I go out and grind myself with guilt and shame. U_U. I am sorry Lord. I want to be a radiant women with kindness, love, and goodness. Guess what's done is done and all I have to do is try again and again.

Yesterday the coolest thing happened to me. I was sitting with Rodol during dinner talking of things our parents did with us that we would like to repeat with our kids. Right that moment I thought: "I want to hear my mom's voice." And a second later, my phone rang with a call from my mom! You are so awesome, Father. Thank You for little "miracles" like that.

I want (well of course You know but I like to tell You and Your Word says You like to hear it!) to go on a vacation next week. I have been planning quite a wild vacation. I don't know if it will be possible, since rodol has to finish his project two days early and I have to be able to get reservations with very short notice. But If it is Your will, please let it happen. And if it is not, show us if we should change the plans or just postpone it. All I ask is that You guard us, give me a grateful attitude, and maybe let us take the trip.

Oh Dad, I am so happy right now. Nothing has changed. I still have the same job, the same church, the same house, same car, same circumstances. You changed my heart, filled it with joy and grattitude, and that makes all the difference.

I forever love You!!!

I think I will make a habit of writing a post of this kind once a week too! I was once thinking what could I do with all those journals I have piled up. Here are some of my ideas, Lord. 1) When my kids are of age, let them read them. 2) Read them myself. You told Josuah to build an altar after crossing the Jordan River so that they wouldn't forget what You had done for them. I love reading what I forgot You had done for me, in me, and taught me.

I hope some is inspired to start journaling and recording the wonders of a relationship with You.


Im grateful I still enjoy cartoons :)

Hello wonderful Lord of mine,
It's that time of the week again. A Time that has become one of my favorite moments lately. The time to remember all the wonderful things You do in my life. It is 12:20 am and I am still up because I am waiting for the beans to be done cooking, but it's great that it makes me be grateful at the very beginning of the week.

I read a verse posted by my sweet friend that said "A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart."
I strongly believe grattitude will bring me closet to bringing forth things form the treasury of a good heart, specially of I remember to give thanks for the bad just as for the good.

grateful for:
34* Adina Ruth Serrano!
35* my new puppy Lanky, and her sweet, playful character.
36* the fact that Lanky and Terry are finally starting to get along.
37* the rain.
38* the rain that falls in my house because of old roofs.
39* a hubby that listens
40* a clean patio. we finally removed the grass and weed growing on the parking lot.
41* my growing plants. I had nearly killed them and now they are back to life and greener than ever!
42* a bed that gives me good rest
43* a call from mommy with good news!
44* a video of my sister dancing! wish I could see you. grateful I can!
45* a day making pizza with a dearest friend
46* the awesome, incredible, delicious, best pizza in the world! (no joking! :P)
47* cleaning products and nice lavender scents!
48* enjoying a chick flick with the hubby??!!!!
49* Naruto!
50* the loving Father that forgives my mouth's mistakes and reminds me of not to let my tongue loose
51* a job birthday! one year already??!
52* a job birthday that was a really hard day at the job.
53* a boss that humiliates you in public, but I kept a soft face (contrary to the killing-eyes stare I would have usually given)
54* another boss that listens to you
55* another boss that threw in my paycheck some extra hours' pay, even if I didnt filed them!
56* a friend that reminds me not to Thump but to sing.
57* being reminded that God disciplines us because He is Our Father and He loves us. :D
58* being reminded to have a gentle and quiet spirit when answering to my husband.
59* a hubby who moved all the cables in the house so I could watch my cartoon marathon.
60* a hubby who watched the final season cartoon episode with me, even though he is not into cartoons!
61* a grown up woman of 25 (me) who still very much enjoys cartoons!
.....small interruption.....yikes! I got caught up writing the post I forgot to check the beans!
62* grateful for the burnt beans. and the smell all over the house!
63* a new faucet in the bathroom's sink.
64* a new skillet thanks to a friend's help!
65 *Bible verses on my cellphone my mother-in-law and my father-in-law sends me. (before I get any complaints, and the verses from Eunice, Jenny, Tito and many more too!)
66* a feeding-children ministry I have been praying for starting to take form.
67* hearing my mom on the cell say "I love you."
68* seeing my sis on the chat write "I love you" (I feel so love. Hey! where is my brother? I'll get to him. lol)

The list could go on! wow, I am so blessed. But I got to go to bed or I wont get up to make the meals for the day, and I have to.

Dear Father,
Thank You for how You are steadfastly changing and renewing my heart. Don't let me forget the wonders of Your love and mercy. Don't let me forget the goodness of Your will and plan! Don't let me forget the bountless blessings You bestow upon me, starting with Your Word, prayer, and the sweet comunion with You. I am still struggling with my faithfulness in attendign church. I pray You may work in that area of our hearts. Thank You, for You!

I love You Jesus!