Learning to Breathe: Kaylee's Birthday in COVID

So, I wrote this back in May 2020, but forgot to post it, so here it is on February 2021, a few months before she turns 7 XD

Writing this post pains me so much. My house is still filled with all the DIY and decorations and boxes of the things I was preparing for Kaylee's 6th Birthday. I even have the candy boxes and the piñata filled with candy. I've checked and they still haven't expired, but for how long? I refused thinking we were not going to do that party I had prepared, but now I'm starting to believe I may not even hold it for Emmalee´s 8th! I'm glad that mom is more heartbroken by this than they are. They are such troopers. But, because I was holding on to share the celebration, I had not done her birthday interview or her Dear Kaylee letter. I even had a mini photo shoot of her COVID indoor party. So. I'm going to share those pictures, do her letter and interview, and pray we can one day use her decorations for a party with friends soon.

Kaylee Birthday Interview Age 6.

Here we go.

1. What is something mommy always says to you? Obey your parents. Don't be mean to your sister.

2. What makes you happy? Playing with my mom and dad and sister and my pet dog.

3. What makes you sad? Playing alone

4. What makes you laugh? When my sister tickles me.

5. How old are you? 5 years old.

6. How old is Mommy? um.... 31 (Mom is 34)

7. How old is Daddy? 33? (Dad is 32)

8. What is your favorite thing to do? um.. My favorite thing to do is watch movies with my mom and dad and sister and pet dog, my grandma and my aunt.

9. Who is your best friend? Emmalee and Vicky

10. What do you want to be when you grow up? A Ballerina and get married.

11. What are you really good at? Doing the splits.

12. What are you not very good at? I am not very good at doing mmm... how do you say "puente"? I'm not very good at doing the puente!

13. What did you do today? Today I played with my sister, eated with my daddy, and talked to my mom.

14. What is your favorite food? Ice cream

15. What is your favorite song? Ay.... my favorite song is... (starts singing) "into the Unknown, into the unknown, in the unknooooooown... ah ah ah ah." That is my favorite song.

16. What do you want for your birthday this year? Cake and toys and my piñata and even cupcakes.

17. What is your favorite animal? Baby bunnies!

18. What is love? I love my mom and dad, sister and pet, grandma and aunt. You love people.

19. What does daddy do for work? school!
20. What does mommy do for work? school.

21. Where do you live? Panama and mmmm..... I don't know. Panama and Honduras

22. Where is your favorite place to go? A picnic at the park.

Dear Kaylee,

No matter how big you are getting, you want to be and pretend you are the baby. You will bundle yourself into a little ball and find your way on anyone's lap at your reach. I love it. I love how cuddly you are, considering you were not a cuddly baby. I would have not guessed it back then. I thought you'd be more like me in that regard. And even though you are our baby, you are the one to remember your brother Sammy the most. You're always talking about him and how you'd be big for him. You love baby everything. If there are toys you can play with, you'll pick the smallest or the baby-like. And your maternal love is ever present in how you treat others. You are quick to run to mom or Emmalee if any of us got injured or are crying and offer help and hug. Your touch is filled with such tenderness and sweetness that is also mirrored in the softness in your eyes when you comfort others. Mom is not keen on being touched when she is in distress and has snapped once or twice when someone attempts to touch her in that state. You are not discouraged by that as others have been and offer your touch and care promptly. You've done such a good job in bringing mom's walls down. I can't remain unchanged when touched by you. You are always walking around with a stuffed animal wherever you go. Mom has fought you in bringing your toys to the table when you do school, but you just feel better with your toys close by. To you, they're as if your friends where there. You have such a rich imagination. You've even dabbled into songwriting like your sister does. You've become more intrepid and try harder at your gym class. You put us all to shame with your flexibility even though you are the one who tries the least. I hope you know how jealous mom and tia Lilly are and how lucky you are to be so naturally limber. You have come leaps and bounds in your reading. It was such a great source of frustration to you that you would not even attempt it and would burst in tears. Mom had to find ways to help you and be reassuring. Now, you have found confidence in yourself and pride in your achievements that you run to show dad and read to him whichever story you just read mom. It fills me with such joy to see you thrive even if it didn't come naturally to you. It's how Emmalee must feel watching you do your splits so easily. You used to be a good eater when you were a toddler, but you have grown to give me grief in the eating department. Except when we eat pizza. You can eat three slices of pizza, even fighting dad for that last piece. I hope you learn to eat more fruits and veggies. For some reason, you have become an apple monster. That's what I call you, "my little apple monster." We'll always find you munching on an apple. You like to give me the cores for you know i won't waste them. You are a sensitive little girl. If mommy scolds you too harshly, you'll run to your room. I must always remember to guard your heart. You have been upset with mom because we've been watching out summer bible movies. A lot of them are movies about martyrs. The stories are too much for your sensitivity. You cry and demand me to make it stop. I believe that passion and tenderness will one day make you stand up for injustice and love the ones that need it most. The lock down has been easier on you than on your sister, but you long for park time. The only week when the quarantine was lifted you were the happiest little girl to walk hand in hand with mom and dad while wearing a mask. You kind of enjoy the mask. I don't know why. Sometimes I'll find you wearing it while playing in your room. You funny girl! Always my funny girl. You keep being a source of joy for the less seen people around you. Sarita, our maid, has trouble letting people in. You keep breaking walls there too showing up where she is and hugging her promptly. Thank you for your example of unconditional love and love with no fear. No fear of rejection, no fear of judgment, just loving how you know how and loving tenderly. I'm so lucky you came into our life when you did, unexpectedly and by surprise.Your obsession with pink is as strong as always. Pink this and pink that. You'll fight your sister for your favorite TV character because you always want the pink. Luckily for you, your sister wants the blue. Mom would always be the pink power ranger when we pretend played too. You've struggled with sharing because your sister has begun asking for your pink toys. You are reluctant, but when mommy gives you reason and Word to show love, you won't fight longer. You came a long way into being willing to receive discipline, so much so, that mommy barely employs physical discipline anymore. I love you, my baby. I want to cuddle with you forever. I wan to see you belting songs unabashedly for as long as you live, in the shower, in the car, in the park, in your bed. We will ask you from time to time to stop, but we will always delight in hearing you sing your made up songs from the top of your lungs. Thank you for your joy and your hugs and for being my baby. I love you.

Mom