A battle with Pride and many thanks!

I battle with pride. 

I think it's everyone's battle but I'm grateful through the years the Lord has made me more aware of this pride. 

Romanos 2

15 They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them.

If you read the context of the verse, you'll see Paul is praising this accusing the mind does to oneself. 

I for once had never been grateful for it. 

I have to confess I sometimes resist it. 

Let me give you a small example I experienced yesterday:

Here at the office we all cooperate with a little cash to buy cake, sodas, snacks, and icecream at the end of the month to celebrate the birthday boys and girls of the month. There is always someone assigned to pick everyone's share to place the cake order and buy the rest. The guy picking the contribution asked for my share, to which I replied that I was a birthday girl and those being celebrated don't contribute that month. He said this month was different and he was requiring everyone to contribute. I had no money available so I told him I would not be participating on the celebration.

When the time came to sing happy birthday, everyone asked me to head to the dinning room. I told them I was informed I was not able to participate of the celebration because I had not contributed. 

They all told me what the guy had said was a "joke" and that I could participate. 

I remained firmly in my desk, despite their trying to convince me. 

The more they tried to get me to participate and more stern my face became, I could feel my mind accusing me: "You are being prideful." 

I really wanted them to stop trying to convince me because I was inmovable from my decision to take to heart the words of the planner. 

"You know how he is, he probably didn't even know you were a birthday girl," they begged.

"Well, I told him, and he still said I couldn't participate," I replied. 

One of them even went to the dinning room to pick up my slice of cake and icecream. It looked really good. 

To this action, I refused to grab the plate he was handing me and instead took out a yogurt from my lunch box and told him I already had dessert. 

My mind continued to accuse me of prideful attitudes and my spirit was so disturb by my stubborness I even felt like crying. I got a call from my husband that he was waiting for me outside so I was able to leave before I actually started crying or had to more firmly ask them to stop trying to convince me. 

This is one of those time pride hurts you, but not that "much". 

How about the times when my mind accuses me of arguing with my husband over nothing and asks me to stop arguing but I instead continue on and resist it?

How about the times when my mind accuses me of not forgiving and trying to hold on to a grudge my Spirit is trying to get rid of and I'm resisting it? 

And truthfully, it wasn't as insignificant as it may seem. To my coworkers, I am a stubborn, inmovable, prideful person that makes the smallest insignificant thing bigger than it is. 

I mean, seriously, no one takes the guy who was the planner seriously, so why was I?

Why was I? 

Why?

Stinking pride. 

That's it. It's the only answer. I preferred being prideful than humble. 

I was very admonished by this verse:

Romans 2

4 Or do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?

This accusing of the mind is God's kindness to try to save us from ourselves. I chose to show contempt. No more, please! 

I'm sorry Lord. Please save me from myself. 

*520 Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!! Thank You so much for bringing my mom safe and sound to visit me this weekend. I needed to see her SOO badly and she needed to see us too! 

*521 Thank You because mom got to meet Emmalee. It's the funniest thing, Emmalee doesn't move that much and even my husband has had trouble feeling her move in the belly. Not mom! Emmalee just hears her voice and starts jumping around. I'm serious! Mom just has to talk to her and put her hand on my belly and Emmalee will start moving around like crazy!

*522 Thank You for the blessings mom brought for our baby girl: she has not one but two strollers (a more complete and a more compact for easy travel), a gorgeous vintage winnie the pooh playpen, bottles, shampoo, lotion, dippers, baby monitors, breast pump. You name it, she brought it. Even a lovely maternity summer dress for the mommy-to-be.

*523 Time with my mom. Agh! Time with mom has been wonderful. Just lying next to her caressing her back and hair and feeling her warmth next to me! 

*524 My guest room! Rodol and I worked really hard preparing that guest room and making it comfy so mom could stay home with us. It has been such a blessing to be able to host her and wake up early to make french toasts for her and just know she is under the same roof as me!

*525 Our car. Thank You because mom helped us buy a new battery when it was an emergency and that we were able to pay her back really quickly. Our car has blessed us to move around and have a nice ride to keep mom happily with us with no need of asking my grandparents for help for transportation. 

*526 Time with my mom's family. We don't get to see them much and grandma hadn't even seen my huge belly. It was great to hear of their European venture of last month when my Aunt Jenny got married in Italy to her Italian husband. They had some funny stories of mom. I am truly grateful You gave her that gift and glad she enjoyed it so. We also got to celebrate my grandpa's early birthday (his birthday is the 9 of this month) and mom bought a cake she had been craving for more than a year. We went to this gorgeous restaurant outside of the city that had a gorgeous garden. It gave my husband incentive to start working on our huge yard.

*527 My mom's Great Comission Church in Panama. That's right, she is going to the brand new Great Comission Church of Panama City with Pastor Juan Carlos Chavarria. I'm so happy to hear that she is very comitted in the church and they have been like a family to her. The pastor and his wife took her out to dinner for her birthday and bought her a gift, dropped her off at the airport when she was coming here, and even sent Emmalee gifts and a card that said: "De sus tioabuelos"! :') She sounds so happy when she talks of her church and that fills my heart with so much joy! 

*528 My mom enjoying such good health. She looks beautiful. She is thin, has great hair, great skin complexion! I'm so happy to see her looking good outside because she's been good inside (Because of good physical health and good spiritual health). 

*529 My mom loves my husband. She does! And he loves her! and She loves my in-laws and they love her. I'm so,so,so grateful for that! But the special bond is between my mom and my husband and that is priceless.

*530 A lovely dinner with my mom and my in-laws at my house eating baleadas. Mom was so excited to eat baleadas Hondureñas and we were even blessed to have Isabel's homemade flour tortillas. Yum!

*531 a lovely dinner with my sister and her boyfriend Rodrigo. We hadn't shared much with Rodrigo and were all very happy he is very agreeable and nice. Mom was really happy to be with Lilly because she was really desiring to see her. 

I could keep giving thanks non-stop. I'm so blessed and happy. Thank You, Father. Truly, thank You! Please take mom back to Panama tomorrow safe and sound and give her grace before her employers to allow her to spend December here for when Emmalee comes. Please teach her how to pronounce her darling grandaughters name! :P

I love You with all my heart.