Freedom of Speech

I've been having a hard time writing lately. Mainly because I needed time in silence.
During that time I pondered on the next question: is freedom of speech Biblical?
I think christians are the most opinionated folks there can be and I've been pondering on this as well.
I'm having a hard time organizing my thoughts to convey what's in my heart, but I'll give it a try.

My mouth runs away with me. James explains how a little organ takes over the big ship that is ourselves.
Oh, how I wish I could control it.
But the mouth speaks of what is in the heart. Solomon explains how the heart is deceitful.
The wretchedness takes over me again!
To be trapped in this sinful body!

Why was I pondering upon freedom of speech?
Because my fellow christians always voice their opinions on what comes out of me.
I began to feel jealous of the none-christian.
I see them say what is in their hearts without being bombarded with judgments and opinions.
In short words, enjoying their "right" to freedom of speech.
And when I realized I was envying those without Christ, I turned to analyze if freedom of speech was Biblical.
No, no it isn't!
The Bible says that even the fool is considered wise if he shuts his mouth.
The Bible asks us to consider that what comes out of our mouths should be for the edification of the listener and no corrupted words come out of it.
I was feeling very disturb for something I should be grateful for.

However, I think this consideration of what comes out of your mouth should also be applied when voicing your opinions to others.
My heart (pride) was so uncomfortable I was even considering leaving the church band.
The last time I sang at church a lady came to "admonish" me because I had scratched my ear on the stage and it looked unsightly. U_U
Public places come with such responsibilities!
I'm glad this quiet time has ordered the storm of thoughts in my head.
It's good that I've been taught that when in doubt: the Bible.
I can't be envying what the world has.
If my mouth that feels restrained by my fellow christians still runs away with me, what would be of me without such restrains?
It is good for my soul. It shakes and irritates my flesh.

But I was pondering on this "care."
Feeling restrained because I want to avoid their opinions and comments doesn't really do much to change my deceitful heart.
It just makes me better at not voicing what's in it.
And my heart really needs care.
Christians work so hard at the I-have-it-all-together look they are hard to relate to.
It happened to me alot during my highschool and college years. As many know, I used to be a legalist.
I would make sure my true self wouldn't show that others where embarassed to confide in me because "I didn't go" through the same temptations, weaknesses or sins.
This look I had mastered even made my leaders think I didn't need checking.
My Bible always at hand, the pastors words always my advice, my long hours in church service, no one knew of the weaknesses of my heart.
I decided I would never again hide my true self.
Yet my last post spoke of the wretchedness I felt because of my true self.
Battling with anger, bad words, bad attitudes, my true self I would like to hide indeed.
I began thinking of what the true christian care of our hearts and mouths should be.

For me it is summed in one word: accountability.
How I miss my accountable partners: Xenia and Lillian.
Xenia was one of our pastor's wife whom I would visit once a week.
She would make sure I told her what was in my heart so we could address it with what was in the Bible and what she had learned in her personal walk with Christ.
Lillian is my sister. We were recently living in different countries and, since I'm married, now living apart.
Lillian and I were accountable partners and we would share our innermost selves together and advice each other. 
I hope the youth in church knows the riches of accountability.
You weren't checked because you wanted to avoid judgment and opinions. You were checked because you chose to be checked.
This is the only cure for a deceitful heart: check it.
The Bible says the Lord examines our hearts. Shouldn't we too?

As I reminisced in the treasures of accountability and why I was missing it so much, I received a revelation: I'm not being accountable with my husband.
Sunday night my husband came back from the last church service (we both had band service this weekend, but I stayed home ill), he told he was feeling burdened.
As he opened his heart to me and I was able to console and encourage him, it was clear to me I wasn't giving him the same chance.
He should be my accountability partner.
He should know of the storm of thoughts in my head.
It is hard because he is a man with no sisters and I often snap with the "you don't understand me" response.
I have to work harder at letting him know and understand me better.
I must seek him to check my heart for he is the head of my family.
He is what God has provided for the maturity of this green, hard heart of mine.

I pray christians learn the proper way of caring for their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
It must be done in love and understanding; not in judgment and comments.
If you really haven't been part of someone's life, you really don't have the right to go up to him/her and voice your opinions on his/her actions!
That doesn't help at all and it only pushes away.
Still, take in consideration one of the greatest advices in the Bible:
Romans 12:9
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
If something good is in their opinions and comments, take it with you.
It's all good because it helps break this prideful heart.

And this heart has been prideful. It has been so confronted it was unwilling to be grateful.
Not anymore!

*390 the Spirit making the heart desire to be checked and guarded.
*391 the accountable partner given by God, my husband
*392 my sister spending lots of time with me on this sick weekend
*393 my mother being able to come home for my aunt's wedding and spend Saturday with us.
*394 my aunt getting married to her Italian prince
*395 a lovely wedding lunch with my sis, mom, and hubby
*396 losing weight because of the illness. Yay!
*397 being more responsible and serviceable at my job.
*398 Pit getting her first job
*400 the little victories Pit got in her stretching!
*401 the hubby's skin complexion improving
*402 a broken car and repair bills
*403 trouble getting the loan for the new car (grateful for the bad)
*404 my hubby's week test over
*405 hopeful for a child
*406 changes in my mind caused by being more involved in church again
*407 brothers and sisters in Christ who truly take care of me, my heart, and my mouth.
*408 the dogs to be my company when home alone.
*409 new and fast lunch ideas and recipes the hubby enjoys
*410 finding my toils under the sun easier and more enjoyable.

Dear God,
Thank You for Your Word. Where would I be desiring what the world has, when what You give is so much better?
Continue breaking this heart, mind, and will of mine. Baptize my mind and make this seed die to give birth to life for Your glory.
Teach us, Father, Your ways and that we might follow.

I love You. 

1 comment:

  1. oh, how those words we throw about as Christians can hurt – we should be LESS hurt by other believers – not more hurt. And yet we turn on each other, we say the meanest things, and those are only the things we hear - what's worse is the dagger behind the smile. We, all too often, are NOT Christian at all.

    And what you wrote is so true, "it doesn't really do much to change my deceitful heart. It just makes me better at not voicing what's in it."

    I'm glad you were there for your husband – and I agree with you- husband and bride should be each other's accountability partner – but I was talking to my sister the other day and I think it's important for a woman to have a good strong female accountability partner – and a husband to have a good strong male accountability partner. Sometimes the female version of iron sharpening iron is what you might need – and the male version of iron when he needs. Anyway – that's only theory – what do I really know if marriage? I've never been married. Linda, you have a gift, I learn from reading you. Thank you. And God bless and keep you and your husband. oh, and of your thank you's - Laska the love kitty told me I needed to pick as my favorite the one about your dogs keeping you company :)