Learning to Breathe: It is just a short time

It is only for a short time,

It will pass in a blink of an eye.

It will be gone before I even realize it is gone.

And so, for now, I want to cherish each moment.

I want to record it while it is fresh to remember what it felt like, remember what is was like to be someone's world.

For this very short time, I am my daughters' person.

You've probably had a friend who was your person.

It never compares to your mother.

When she is upset, only mommy's embrace can make it better.

Mommy's kiss can mend any bubu.

She might love her grandfather a lot, but if she is scared, hurt, or sad, she wants mommy.

She wants to spend her days in mommy's arms.

She wants to sleep in mommy's chest.

She eats better if mommy feeds her.

She listens to mommy the most.

She will even share the foods she likes with mommy, even if she is stuffing it in mommy's face.

This time is tough. It is not easy to be someone's person, which is why you probably only had one person in your life besides your mom, if you were lucky enough to have your mom as your person.

It demands time, energy, effort; but it is only for a short time.

There will come a time when my daughter doesn't want to cuddle all day with me, so I will cuddle as much as I can and hold her as near as I can.

There will come a time when she will bathe on her own, so I will make bath time fun time with games and songs and learning body parts.

There will come a time when she will dress on her own, so everytime I change her I will tickle her belly and play "This little piggy" and kiss her feet while she cries from laughing so hard.

There will come a time when she won't need me to take her to the potty, so I will praise her for her small victories in responsibility and self control and high five her every time because it makes her glad and acknowledged.

There will come a time when she won't listen to mommy the most, so I have this time to push hard to teach her obedience, compassion, and humility. This is my time to teach her to pray and teach her about her Lord. It is the only time I have to ask her to give me her heart so I can take it to Him.

So much time will pass and change, but I have today to make the best of it.

As my heart has been aching for the Syrian mothers and the hardships their children are suffering or the children they have buried, I realize how frail life is and how I only have today to make this day excellent.

Now, I bury my nose more in my daughters' hair to breathe in their unique fragrance I can't describe or put to words.

I have kissed those little feet so many times the smell of feet is a fond memory now.

I am that mother that instead of sitting on the sideline to watch them play I am twirling them and making them louder.

I am that mother showing my girls what a grassy hillside is for: to roll down from.

I am that mother that has gotten inside the Burger King playset to get her toddler down while taking the toddler that can't go own her up and come down with both down the slide.

I want to be that mom that takes them camping for the first time and lay in the ground and count stars. I want to be that mom that makes all sorts of crazy science projects with them.

I want to teach them to cook and bake and try new things with them. I want to build sand castles in the beach and bury their dad in the sand.

I want to be a parent that is present and active.

I had been concentrating a lot on my difficulty losing wieght and getting time to workout.

30 minutes of hide and seek with the girls left my heart racing and pumping hard.

When mothers are worrying about living in tents as refugees when winter is upon them and some will most likely lose their children to the weather and some disease, I feel humiliated my struggle is losing weight.

We have a very uncertain year coming up. I don't know if my husband will have a job next year. I don't know if I will have a job next year. If I do have a job, the job I currently have has times without funds to pay salaries and they leave us without pay for months. It is very uncertain and unsettling, but it is God Who we trust. We are grateful for each day, we understand today is the only day we get, and today we live to the fullest and joyful. Today I treasure this short time I am living with my girls and my husband, grateful this is the day the Lord has made and I can rejoice and be glad in it.