Learning to rejoice in my labor part two

eclessiastes 3
9 What profit has the worker from that in which he labors? 10 I have seen the God-given task with which the sons of men are to be occupied. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.

eclessiastes 4
6 Better a handful with quietness
Than both hands full, together with toil and grasping for the wind.

eclessiastes 5
11 When goods increase,
They increase who eat them;
So what profit have the owners
Except to see them with their eyes?

16 And this also is a severe evil—
Just exactly as he came, so shall he go.
And what profit has he who has labored for the wind?
17 All his days he also eats in darkness,
And he has much sorrow and sickness and anger.

Dear God,
much sorrow and sickness and anger??? Oh, Im shaken by these words for they describe myself in these past days. I was sharing with my mom my job situation, which i have yet to sit down and talk it out with You. So my boss told me that I have been making too many mistakes and the company doesnt wnat me to program for a period of time. I explain the "mistakes" were not entirely mine, and he even accepts this is true. But he tells me I will dedicate to documentation for the next month. He says is so that I can be under less stress and recover my health. I, very boldly, tell him that all he wants is to extract the knowledge of the proyect (which I know best and more comprehensively) so he can fire me afterwards. He promises he wont and he is doing this for my own good.

I love the book of ecclesiastics! It is so eye opening! Everything is vanity. Ive been hating my job and wishing I dont have all the stress of handling the project pretty much on my own. I finally get my wish and my lost, self-centered heart gets upset!

My mom was asking me how I was and I answered sad and very, very, very happy. And I understand more when Solomon says there is a time for everything, a time to weep and a time to laugh. I am sad because I feel I was treated unfairly and I feel I have been given a task of less dignity. So why then am I very, very, very happy? I am surely not getting that job raise I was hoping for. And who knows if my boss will really not fire me and re-instate me in a programming project. why then my overflowing happiness?

Easy: my pride is crushed! I feel inmensely humiliated! And I know how a humbled, broken heart is seen in Your eyes.

Oh, how beautiful to rejoice in the fact that I am humuliated.
How beautiful to rest in the Lord alone and not on my abilities or talents.
How beautiful to know You take care of me.
How beautiful to know what You bring forth with brokeness.
How beautiful to know I will not be forsaken
To know You will bring me back,
To know how much You will mold me in this soft state of heart
To know I can rejoice in injustice
To know the outcome of putting my eyes on You and finally taking them off this world.
" He has made everything beautiful in its time."
" He has put eternity in my heart"

sorrow, sickeness, anger... Yes, that was my state when I was high in my job.
Why was I upset to loose that?

I get off work at 6pm with no extra time. I have more strength to serve and spend time with my husband. I rejoice in being able to eat and drink and no longer worry if I cannot afford other things in life. Your gift to me is a house, food and drink, and my beautiful, caring and loving, healthy and wonderful husband. What else do I need?

"No one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end."

I love you, Beautiful Father. You are beautiful all the time!

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