Learning Quick and hurried can be good!

John 20

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. 2 So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”
3 So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. 4 Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. 5 He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, 7 as well as the cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus’ head. The cloth was still lying in its place, separate from the linen. 8 Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. 9 (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.) 10 Then the disciples went back to where they were staying.

Dear Father,

Forgive me for not continuing my study in the book of John. I always turn from the gospels when I reach the part of Your crucifixion. I use to think it's because I hated listening of Your suffering, but I see it is because my pride knew what those words would do to my flesh. After all, is it not Your Cross that compels us, saves us from sin, and brings us to our knees? I read this passage and was surprised of the new teaching in it. I would always focus on Thomas and how he wouldn't believe unless he put his finger in Your hand's wounds. I always thought I was such a Thomas, lacking in faith unless I saw; and everytime I read this passage I would pray I wasn't like him anymore and I could have greater faith.

Greater faith, huh? But as i have said in the past, I am a Peter. John got there first. He was probably younger, more fit, and faster. Yet he stopped. Peter never stopped. He got there after, but he did not stop. Right into the tomb without thinking, without fear. I play this in my head and, yep, that would have probably been me. I mean, Peter's imprudence is one of the reasons I relate to him. I have often asked You why You made me the way I am. Loud, bossy, extrovert, angry, talkative. I guess my character could be described as lead by its tongue and its impulses. I have seen many strengths from a character like mine. The only problem is that just as much as my strengths are visible, so are my weaknesses; probably even more noticeable. One of them, impulsiveness, acting without thinking. I see that in Peter here. No thought whatsoever! He is running to His Lord. He is not gonna stop and think what could happen to him, think if it's spooky to go inside a tomb, to think what others will think of him.

Again, my prayer is to be a Peter post-crucifixion. i gues, then, I should read the crucifixion and post-crucifixion passages more often too! Oh foolish heart of mine.

Fathe, help me be that kind of impulsive and imprudent. Quick to go after You. Quick to jump to where may! No thought in my mind, no doubt in my heart. Hurrying! Hurrying to meet You, hurrying to do Your will. Father, i bring my sins before Your cross with repent in my heart. Please forgive my transgressions against You. Others might be quicker than me. Others might have already gotten there. Place my sight in You, so that no matter if I am not fast enough, i don't stop! I keep going. Steady holding fast to You! Again, help me be less of a Thomas.

I forever love You.

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