Some bad things are "blessing in disguise."
The same could be said of good things. They are "troubles in disguise"?
I'm wondering this about our new car.
I had been suspicious that I might be pregnant for almost two weeks.
I kept telling myself I would do the pregnancy test after we purchased the car so I wouldn't feel burdened by spending our savings on the car when a little one was on the way.
I couldn't take it anymore and I did the pregnancy test before the purchase.
When I read that positive my heart was racing with joy, but my always ahead of time head was already worrying. I began considering to cut my car budget to have saved money for the baby.
It was heart breaking. Even at the top of our budget, we couldn't find a decent car or a car at all!
We were buying a used car, FYI (No way on earth we could afford a new car at this time)
Buying a used car is a little like gambling. You might win, but chances of lossing are always higher. After going to several car sales where most of them just turned us around because they had nothing in our budget or showed us awful old cars, we finally found a car we both immediately liked. It looked like its previous owner kept it in optimal conditions. Its interior was prestine, the exterior was without a single bump or dent. The only thing we could spot on the car was sun damage on the paint. The price was way out of out budget. Almost 1000$ over. We told the buyer our top budget and he accepted dropping the price after an hour or so of negotiating.
The car was a little bigger than what we were intending to buy.
We wanted a more fuel efficient car.
The thing about fuel efficient cars is: their owners don't part with them easily.
We couldn't find any! If we did, they were way above budget. If we did, they were in terrible conditions. We could have never reselled it.
The car is going to spend more on gas than our previous car. This kept a heavy weight on my heart.
But the amount of money we have been spending lately on transportation placed us in desperation.
We have been spending a fortune fixing the car we previously used which was borrowed. We spent 20% of the budget we had for our OWN car on another's car. This really brought me down.
Since the other car has been in the shop for more than a month now, we have been spending a LOT of money on taxi fairs (No, I can't take the bus or shared cabs because I have to carry my work Laptop). And all this was eating away the money for the car. It could not be postponed anymore.
We could not pay the price we had negotiated with the seller. We asked him if we could pay 90% of the money and the rest 10% next month. The hubs prayed to God that if he didn't accept the offer, the car was not from Him. He accepted. We kept on looking though, kept on hoping to find something that suited better our needs. We searched everywhere but nothing.
And so we bought a car.
We were careful and sought advice. My father-in-law was gracious enough to accompany us to see the car a second time. He was more thorough on checking the engine, the oil, the wiring, the chassis with the hubs. We took it for a test drive and it seemed to be in perfect conditions. He gave it an ok.
We have a car. Our own car.
I should be jumping up and down.
It is really a relief not to worry how I'm gonna get to work or home, no longer have to worry that my laptop gets robbed. It is a relief I no longer have to spend my money on other's property.
Is the car really a blessing and I'm just falling into my old bad habits of worrying for everything?
I mean, I worry about every single purchase I make.
It didn't matter I no longer had cloths to wear to work, if I spent 200$ on a new wordrobe, I'd go home feeling this same pressing on my chest.
The shoes I wear to work are worst than a scary movie; they practically seem to scream!
I even felt this way when we purchased our bed and washing machine, eventhough sleeping on two old mattresses was giving me back problems and morning aches and we had to drive our clothes to our in-laws and spend their electricity and water only doing one load per week!
Why does the "He has never forsaken you" takes so long to sink in when the "how on earth are we gonna make it?" has front row tickets to your mind?
"We also have to move to a bigger house," my mind is also reminding me. Our current house (more like an apart though it is a stand-alone little house) is too small for a new member and we have serious dust issues. All the windows of my house are ducktaped because we live infront of an unpaved street that passing cars lift enormous amounts of dust inside everyday. If I clean the dust, by afternoon it will seem like I haven't dusted in days. I can't imagine how it would be if the windows weren't sealed!
"So, to sum it all up," the mind keeps saying, "you have to pay the loan for the car, pay more on gas, pay more on rent for a bigger house, and still make all your other bills!"
Nine months! The baby won't be here for another nine months. Thank heavens! One step at a time. One step at a time is all you can take.
Step 1: you bought a car. hooray! (celebrate, don't stress)
Step 2: right now you can pay the car and the gas with your income and still be ok still living in your old house.
Step 3: The hubs is looking for a part time job.
Step 4: After that, you'll be able to start looking for a new house.
Step 5: The baby is coming, but God is your provider.
I can't let worrying take over me. It is a luxury I can no longer indulge. I must lay my burdens on Him. I MUST!
People always aked us how were we going to afford a baby with my hubs still in school and me at work?
My answer always was: I don't worry about that. When the time comes, the Lord will provide.
This is the Child the Lord gave us.
The time has come. It is time for me to trust the Lord as convincingly as I told others I wasn't worried.
I wasn't. I am not!
A child is a blessing. A blessing I've been longing. I will not let it be shadowed by my insecurities or the economy and society.
God says children are His gifts. It is a gift!
So, a little list on worrying:
1. Worrying accomplishes absolutely nothing. (so why worry?)
2. Worrying is not good for me or the baby.
3. Worrying is the opposite of trusting God.
4. Worrying puts my focus on the wrong direction.
The same could be said of good things. They are "troubles in disguise"?
I'm wondering this about our new car.
I had been suspicious that I might be pregnant for almost two weeks.
I kept telling myself I would do the pregnancy test after we purchased the car so I wouldn't feel burdened by spending our savings on the car when a little one was on the way.
I couldn't take it anymore and I did the pregnancy test before the purchase.
When I read that positive my heart was racing with joy, but my always ahead of time head was already worrying. I began considering to cut my car budget to have saved money for the baby.
It was heart breaking. Even at the top of our budget, we couldn't find a decent car or a car at all!
We were buying a used car, FYI (No way on earth we could afford a new car at this time)
Buying a used car is a little like gambling. You might win, but chances of lossing are always higher. After going to several car sales where most of them just turned us around because they had nothing in our budget or showed us awful old cars, we finally found a car we both immediately liked. It looked like its previous owner kept it in optimal conditions. Its interior was prestine, the exterior was without a single bump or dent. The only thing we could spot on the car was sun damage on the paint. The price was way out of out budget. Almost 1000$ over. We told the buyer our top budget and he accepted dropping the price after an hour or so of negotiating.
The car was a little bigger than what we were intending to buy.
We wanted a more fuel efficient car.
The thing about fuel efficient cars is: their owners don't part with them easily.
We couldn't find any! If we did, they were way above budget. If we did, they were in terrible conditions. We could have never reselled it.
The car is going to spend more on gas than our previous car. This kept a heavy weight on my heart.
But the amount of money we have been spending lately on transportation placed us in desperation.
We have been spending a fortune fixing the car we previously used which was borrowed. We spent 20% of the budget we had for our OWN car on another's car. This really brought me down.
Since the other car has been in the shop for more than a month now, we have been spending a LOT of money on taxi fairs (No, I can't take the bus or shared cabs because I have to carry my work Laptop). And all this was eating away the money for the car. It could not be postponed anymore.
We could not pay the price we had negotiated with the seller. We asked him if we could pay 90% of the money and the rest 10% next month. The hubs prayed to God that if he didn't accept the offer, the car was not from Him. He accepted. We kept on looking though, kept on hoping to find something that suited better our needs. We searched everywhere but nothing.
And so we bought a car.
We were careful and sought advice. My father-in-law was gracious enough to accompany us to see the car a second time. He was more thorough on checking the engine, the oil, the wiring, the chassis with the hubs. We took it for a test drive and it seemed to be in perfect conditions. He gave it an ok.
We have a car. Our own car.
I should be jumping up and down.
It is really a relief not to worry how I'm gonna get to work or home, no longer have to worry that my laptop gets robbed. It is a relief I no longer have to spend my money on other's property.
Is the car really a blessing and I'm just falling into my old bad habits of worrying for everything?
I mean, I worry about every single purchase I make.
It didn't matter I no longer had cloths to wear to work, if I spent 200$ on a new wordrobe, I'd go home feeling this same pressing on my chest.
The shoes I wear to work are worst than a scary movie; they practically seem to scream!
I even felt this way when we purchased our bed and washing machine, eventhough sleeping on two old mattresses was giving me back problems and morning aches and we had to drive our clothes to our in-laws and spend their electricity and water only doing one load per week!
Why does the "He has never forsaken you" takes so long to sink in when the "how on earth are we gonna make it?" has front row tickets to your mind?
"We also have to move to a bigger house," my mind is also reminding me. Our current house (more like an apart though it is a stand-alone little house) is too small for a new member and we have serious dust issues. All the windows of my house are ducktaped because we live infront of an unpaved street that passing cars lift enormous amounts of dust inside everyday. If I clean the dust, by afternoon it will seem like I haven't dusted in days. I can't imagine how it would be if the windows weren't sealed!
"So, to sum it all up," the mind keeps saying, "you have to pay the loan for the car, pay more on gas, pay more on rent for a bigger house, and still make all your other bills!"
Nine months! The baby won't be here for another nine months. Thank heavens! One step at a time. One step at a time is all you can take.
Step 1: you bought a car. hooray! (celebrate, don't stress)
Step 2: right now you can pay the car and the gas with your income and still be ok still living in your old house.
Step 3: The hubs is looking for a part time job.
Step 4: After that, you'll be able to start looking for a new house.
Step 5: The baby is coming, but God is your provider.
I can't let worrying take over me. It is a luxury I can no longer indulge. I must lay my burdens on Him. I MUST!
People always aked us how were we going to afford a baby with my hubs still in school and me at work?
My answer always was: I don't worry about that. When the time comes, the Lord will provide.
This is the Child the Lord gave us.
Psalm 127:3
Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Psalm 37:25
I have been young and now am old, yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken or their seed begging bread.
The time has come. It is time for me to trust the Lord as convincingly as I told others I wasn't worried.
I wasn't. I am not!
A child is a blessing. A blessing I've been longing. I will not let it be shadowed by my insecurities or the economy and society.
God says children are His gifts. It is a gift!
So, a little list on worrying:
1. Worrying accomplishes absolutely nothing. (so why worry?)
Matthew 6:27-29
Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.
2. Worrying is not good for me or the baby.
Proverbs 12:25
Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.
3. Worrying is the opposite of trusting God.
Matthew 6:30
And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
Philippians 4:6-7
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.4. Worrying puts my focus on the wrong direction.
4. Worrying puts my focus on the wrong direction.
Matthew 6:25
That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life-whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing?
Matthew 6:31-33
So don't worry about these things, saying, 'What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?' These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
1 Peter 5:7
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
And the little list of gratitude:
*439 a positive in a home pregnancy test and a blood test. All I'm missing is a doctor's appointment. Bear with me, this weekend I could only get the lab tests done and the car purchase.
*440 I'm gonna be a mommy!!!!!!! YES!!!!
*441 Our own very first car!!! YES! The hubs is beyond himself with joy.
*442 A hubby spoiling her wife by taking care of everything in the house so she can rest.
*443 a very caring very loving hubby who puts me first.
*444 a hard working hubby studying all weekend for his upcoming test. May the Lord bless his result today!
*445 a hubby that will look for a job and work hard at work and school for his family.
*446 no morning sickness yet! Just a few headaches.
*447 the puppies starting to get along.
*448 fumoffu coping better with her new house, her new sisters, and her new food.
*449 how much money we make is not our sense of security!
*450 the Lord is our provider and carer, who or what shall I fear?
*451 a loving Lord that answers prayer and sends gift in His time
*452 His will is good and perfect!
*453 fumoffu finally slept outside and allowed us to sleep.
*454 a shower of congratulations from excited friends. Ecstatic aunts and uncles!
*455 a lovely dinner at Johnny's enjoying Mel's cooking.
Praise God for a positive test and continued revelation. :-)
ReplyDeleteAmen sista!
ReplyDeleteMother's worry, it's our job; handling the worry, is God's :)
first of all, Linda...
ReplyDelete☆.•*¨*•.•*¨`*•.¸.•*¨`*•. .•*¨`*•.☆ Yay!!!!!
I am so happy that you have a baby on the way, you are going to be such an amazing mother. I just KNOW it!
A baby, a car, house, a plan, I'm really happy for you!
And my favorite from your thank you list is #452. God's will, he wants for us, the best possible thing that could BE for us, the thing which conforms us most closely to his image – that's what I want too - even more than I want. You know?