The next two weeks

Where to begin this post?
Well, for one, it will be my last post on cancer for the next two weeks.
I will not think or talk about it once more after this post, so don't ask... please.
Why? This are my last days before we start chemotherapy. I feel better from my mastectomy and I want to use my strength, my heart, my thoughts in living fully with my family. I am so grateful the girls are doing much better from their food poisoning from last week. It is such a joy to see them laughing and playing again.
The doctor was very disheartening yesterday.
The results said I have a triple negative breast cancer. I thought that was good. Turns out it's not.
Being triple negative limits the possible treatments and gives a higher incidence of recurrence.
My mastologist said she gave me a prognosis of 30 years.
My oncologist wasn't as giving. He says my cancer has a high recurrence within two years. If there is a recurrence, he says it is incurable. He says that worst case scenario, and we are no where near that worst case scenario, he gives me one to three years.
Definitely not what you where expecting to listen.
He keeps repeating the words that have described my cancer from the beginning: aggressive, so he wants to be aggresive.
Chemotherapy sessions are usually given every three weeks. He wants mine every 15 days.
This means that I need tons of prayers for good health and good resilience to the treatment, as chemotherapy has various side effects that will be harder on me with treatments so close together and little time for recovery.
This means my "good days" will also be scarce and trying to live normally will be a challenge. With this in mind, we have decided that my only responsibility from now on will be to rest and recover and use what energy I have to spend with the girls.
People feel bad for me for getting a cancer usually seen in older women at such a young age. I really feel bad for my daughters. They are so young and have such a great need for me. I wish they could have their mommy at their disposition more.
We are trying to focus on the positive.
Let us list those positive news:
1. My tumor was removed and we only found metastasis in one lymph node and the lymph node was intact (it had not erupted).
2. Fast growing cancer responds better to chemotherapy than other forms of cancer.
3. There are no other tumors in any other organ so the spread of the cancer is local.
4. My young age will help me withstand better the treatment.
5. We will try our best to have all or most chemotherapy done in the public hospital to lower our expenses.
There is still an enormous monetary stress for our family with the tests and the meds to control my side effects and keep blood platelets high, because chemotherapy gives various blood diseases and with a low blood platelet count I can't have the next session.
There is a high risk of infection during treatment and the minor side effects of throwing up and losing my hair.
I have voluminous hair. I stir clear of shampoos that say volumizing. I pride myself that I would never go bald. Guess you can never tell.
I guess you understand why I do not desire to hear or talk about cancer in the next two weeks.
Many people want to help and share alternative treatments, diets, their own survival story or the story of their relatives. I appreciate it, but for the next two weeks, please, just let me live like my life won't revolve around it.

There are many factors that need prayer.
1. Triple negative breast cancer at a young age has a worse prognosis than for women diagnosed at an older age.
2. The recurrence in triple negative breast cancer is usually to the liver or the brain.
3. The period of high risk recurrence is 5 years after treatment.

I want to explain myself a little.
I am not being brave. I am trying to live each day. Please don't praise me because I am not crying none stop.
It is not that I am not scared; it's that I am trying to trust God.
The odds are not in my favor, but God is.
I don't know if I'll live. That is not my greatest fear.
I'm not trying to act strong; I am trying to get out of bed to be with my girls.
I am not trying to do it all; all help offered is well received.
Cancer will strip me of any pride.
If you wish to come cook for us, look after my girls so my husband and I can have a date night, come hold my hair if the chemo is making puke, watch a movie if I am too weak to get out of bed, help me go for a run (which will greatly improve my recovery during the chemos), bring an arts and craft to do with me and the girls, donate, send letters, whatever... please do so.
Please pray.
If my faith falters, let yours be unwavering to sustain mine.
If my strength is missing, push me to greater limits and get me out of my bed.
If I get cranky or rude, love me anyway and remember that's not me.
Sit by me and read me some scripture.
Come and pray with us when the treatment becomes too hard.
Pray long and hard no recurrence will ever come to me.

But for now, remember I get two weeks of no cancer talk!


  1. I am trusting that God is bigger than the cancer cells that threaten your peace and your life.
    I am trusting that there is great purpose in the pain.
    I hurt with you. I am praying fervently for you. Thank you for your vulnerability to share so openly as you have.
    Love you, Tiffany

  2. The past 4 years of my life has been years of torment right from when i was diagnosed with breast cancer (triple negative) stage IV. It was hard for me because i never in my life imagined i would have anything related to cancer. The first two years my oncologist gave me so much hope that i had to undergo chemo and radiation therapy twice and the lymph nodes were still there. It kept reoccurring and i was about to lose it all. I lost weight and i had high blood pressure due to steady thinking. I got the contact of Dr. Roland whom i was told treats cancer naturally with herbal medicine, i never believed but i was dying and to satisfy my curiosity i had to invite him over and he came with his medicine and began to treat me for a month. In three months time i didn't feel any symptoms and i decided to confirm and i went to my oncologist for a test and i tested negative to cancer. I never believed in herbal methods or treatments but now i do because it saved me. You too can contact him for more info on any form of cancer and also about his medicine and treatment process on ( do not die in ignorance and never give up hope.