Dear Kaylee 19 months/ Dear Emmalee

Dear Kaylee,

I was feeling pretty tired yesterday. I am not going to sugar coat it; you kept me up. It was not your fault. You had been sick from your tummy. It must have been something you put in your mouth. Too bad you won't learn a lesson from it. You were actually scolded for drinking from the shower water last night. Anyway, mommy was feeling very tired yesterday and not in the mood to do much. Luckily for me, you pulled the box under the media center filled with toys and was thoroughly entertained with them by yourself. I was watching you and you totally melted my heart. You grabbed a toy butterfly and gave it such a tender hug, You then stared into its eyes, smiled, kissed its cheek, and resumed hugging it. The scene was the most tender thing I had ever seen. You then turned to look at me staring at you, and I hugged you hugging the butterfly. You then gave me the butterfly so that I would kiss it; and as I did, you kissed me. You see baby girl, mommy isn't very mushy mushy. Your big sister is a little more similar to me in that sense. But the warmth in my heart watching you filled me with love, strength, and happiness that this sleep deprived mommy needed. It was one of those moments you keep in your heart forever. You are my little Linus. Blankets don´t last folded when you are around. You have to grab them and drag them on the floor wherever you go. You are so maternal at such a young age. Your sister has started to play with baby dolls because you do. You cuddle your baby and say "shhhh" to mommy when you are sleeping your doll. I have so much to learn from your tenderness and mushy mushiness. Mommy wants to be like you. You are a cuddler. I love that you are cuddler. We are so lucky and blessed to have such a tender and loving baby girl. You have such a clear vocabulary for your age. Your favorite word is still no, even when you mean yes. You say please and thank you very clearly for your age. I am sorry you had a rough weekend. Even sick you were a great joy to be around, always playful. You are a little pampered, though.  You sometimes demand from us to carry you too much. It´s ok. You will hug us while we carry you and that makes it a little easier. Just don't cry as shrilly when we don't, please.

Dear Emmalee,
My sweet Emmalee. You are almost done with your terrible twos. I don't know how terrible they can get because you weren't so terrible. You did have your bottom spanked quite a lot. Mommy and daddy spank you because they love you. You see, baby girl, learning obedience is key in your good walk in life and your walk with the Lord. You did have your terrible twos days, but you were still a great joy to be around. I call you sweet because that is what mostly characterizes you. You could say you had a sweet terrible twos. I love your sweetness in the little things. Yesterday I was clipping your toe nails, and you hate getting your nails clipped. When I was done, though, you hugged me and said in my ear: "Thank you for clipping my nails, mommy." It was something you don't like to have done, and you still had the maturity to be grateful for it. You do this often. My sweet girl, I learn so much from you. Mommy was trying to do some fondant flowers for your upcoming birthday, but you kept eating them. So you also have a sweet tooth. Mommy loves to carry some fruit gummies in her purse at all times to satisfy that sweet tooth of yours. Mommy has learned to be honest with you. You see, mommy sometimes lies to you. She thought it was ok because they were white lies, but you have taught me to be upfront in everything. When mommy gives you a gummy, she says: "You are only getting two pieces." But when the two pieces were eaten you would ask for more. Mommy would then lie saying "There aren't anymore left." To which, the second time I did it, you demanded to see the empty bag. So now I am teaching you that two means two, and you taught me not to tell white lies. I am sorry I was short on patience last weekend. I was sleep deprived, but that is no excuse. You also had a tummy ache, but you were such a trooper. Thank you for being so amazing. You are on your way to being potty trained, but it is still an ongoing process. I have no rush. I love to watch you learn at your own pace. You have smarts beyond your age. You don´t like staying in the nursery at church. Last Sunday you did because they were coloring. You made your first craft. You could tell you were so proud of your work. You should, it was so well done.

I love you my girls. I love every moment we spend together. When I am away at work, my heart is longing to be with you. I love how you both love to pray with me. Thank you for keeping mommy company when she prays for everyone in the family. Thank you for your willingness to skype with grandma Linda and Aunt Lilly.Thank you for learning to share and play together. Thank you for taking care of each other. I give thanks to our Lord everyday for your lives and our lives together.
Sincerely yours forever,
Mom.

Christian Ethics Part 1

Here is the second Bibe study I am taking.

Christian Ethics Part 1

Bob Smith

Matthew 6:24-34 “No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. “Therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air, for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? “Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow. They toil not, neither do they spin, and yet I say unto you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Therefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall He not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘Wherewith shall we be clothed?’ For after all these things do the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. “Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. 

Ephesians 1:3-6 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ, even as He hath chosen us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to be His own adopted children by Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, wherein He hath made us accepted in His Beloved: 

Once a young man came to me and asked me:

What is wrong with the friendly glass of beer? 

I told him I used to teach chemistry and explained the effects of alcohol on the body. 

He wanted to know from a stand point of Biblical truth why was it wrong to drink alcoholic beverages in limitation. 

He was concerned about the law obligation. 

Ethics is a branch of axiology, which comes from a Greek word that means values; therefore, axiology is the study of values, There are personal values, social values, health values, material values, intrinsic and estrinsic, temporal and eternal, relative and absolute, moral, economical values. 

When speaking of right or wrong, you speak of moral values, and you can look at them from the stand point of philosophy or from the stand point of religion. 

We are going to look at it from the stand point of Christianity. 

The clear difference between Christian ethics and contemporary philosophy ethics is that Christian ethics demands that you say yes or no. There is an obligation to accept it or reject it. 

Christian ethics, if it is true, it's God's demand for moral righteousness in the life of His creatures.

Christianity has two fields of approachs of stand point of ethics: conservative ethics and liberal ethics. 

We will discuss the conservative ethics and put it in context. 

Conservatives are called fundamentalist. Fundamentalist, as defined by philosophy, is anybody who professes to believe in whole to the basic fundamentals of the faith as revealed in the New Testament. 

Fundamentalism begins with God and His revelation to men through scripture. The purpose of the Bible is to reveal the nature of God as a Spirit with personality, self-existent, immutable, changeless in character and purpose, omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, eternital, transcendent,  holy, righteous, truth, and love. 

Fundamentalism begins by analysing scripture. The very nature of God is applied to ethical situations. 

if God is Holy and changeless, than I must be like Him. If God is truth and cannot lie, than I should be like Him. Now I can lie, but I cannot justify it or support it through scripture. God is immutable, so when He said adultery is wrong and fornication is wrong, unchastity and adultery is a sin today as it was when God gave His commandments. Conservative ethics always go back to God and His revelation. 

Liberalism begins with man. They define God through experience and how He is experienced.

Christian ethics is concerned with moral obligation, of "oughtness."

There are three kinds of oughts: the lgoical, the prudential, and the moral. 

The logical ought is the oughtness of mathematics and logic, realms, delineation, facts. If you put $100 dollars in the bank and wrote a check for $75, you ought to have $25 in your bank account. If all dogs are warm-blooded, and Rover is a dog, than Rover ought to be warm-blooded. 

Prudential ought is which is good to do. If you want to be healthy, it is prudent to go to bed early. If you say: "Honesty is the best policy," you understand that it is prudent not to be know  as a cheat. If you want a good grade, it is prudent to study.

This is what you ought to do to get this outcome; that is prudential ought. 

The moral ought is the obligation to do the right and avoid the wrong, not because it prudent or because it is logical, but because it is morally right. It is sometimes prudent not to tell the truth. It may be prudent to lie.

In court, the result is not what matters to determine the amount of guilt, it is the will. A man had a blow to the head and had been left blind for many years. One night, a burglar hit him on the head and stole his wallet. He woke up and he could see. The court would still find the man guilty because of his will in doing the act, not the favorable result to the victim. 

A good deed comes out of a good will. 

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not charity, I am become as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith so that I could remove mountains, but have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. 

The moral obligation in Christianity has presuppositions.  The first presupposition is that man is a moral being and that his moral nature is from God. Man can know the difference between wrong and right. If he can't, he is classified as not normal. Christianity teaches we are all created in the likeness of God. We are not rational beings because we evolved. We are because we were created that way after an intellectual, moral, emotional, and self-conscious God.

Immanuel Kant, a philosopher, said man is a moral being that knows right and wrong and has an internal obligation to do right and avoid the wrong, and this is how a good will is defined. You are morally obligated to do what is right, even though you don't fully understand what right is, but you feel it and know it. 

A third presupposition is the sacredness of a person. You believe you have rights and understand other people have rights as well. You have freedom to choose to do the right or wrong your morality reveals to you. You have some freedoms within the moral realm. 

Romans 2:12-15 For as many as have sinned without law shall also perish without law, and as many as have sinned in the law shall be judged by the law. For it is not the hearers of the law who are just before God, but the doers of the law shall be justified. For when the Gentiles, who have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, they, not having the law, are a law unto themselves, which shows the work of the law written in their hearts,their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts between accusing and excusing one another. 

Every man has light.

John 1:4, 9 In Him was life, and that life was the Light of men. That was the true Light which lighteth every man that cometh into the world. 

Christian ethics always presupposes that men sin and do wrong. Sin is basically indemic in the heart of man and sooner or later we come to it. 

I used to think children were bad because they had the wrong upbringing. If sin is indemic in the heart of men, than I am a sinner. You don't have to look at the contemporary world to realize there is something wrong with men. It is easier to lie than to be honest. It is easier to be hateful than loving, unkind than kind, impatient than patient. It is our nature. 

And you know that yourself. That is why you have self-condemnation. You tell yourself: "Why did you do that?"

Christianity presupposes that to overcome your sin you must be converted. 

Even Immanuel Kant understood that for men to act on a good will there must be a transformation of his nature. When asked how would this be achieved, Immanuel Kant could only become silent. 

Christianity teaches that you will never do it unless you become a new creature. Jesuschrist came for sinners. How lucky for us. And He puts in us a new nature, a new mind, a new motivation, a new desire, and a new understanding and power through Him. 

Bad behaviour is not the result of bad feelings. Bad feelings are the result of bad behaviour. Bad behaviour is the result of sin. 

The goal of Christian ethics is to become like God and follow His perfect life He exemplified for us. 

Jehovah Rapha

Jeohvah Rapha

By John Mitchell

I hope you have been blessed with the revelation of God in the New Testament and the Old Testament through the names of God. 

Today we go to Exodus 15 for the name Jehovah Rapha, the Lord healeth.

Exodus 15:22-26 So Moses brought Israel from the Red Sea, and they went out into the Wilderness of Shur; and they went three days in the wilderness, and found no water. And when they came to Marah, they could not drink of the waters of Marah, for they were bitter. Therefore the name of it was called Marah that is, Bitterness. And the people murmured against Moses, saying, “What shall we drink?” And he cried unto the Lord; and the Lord showed him a tree, which when he had cast into the waters, the waters were made sweet. There He made for them a statute and an ordinance, and there He put them to the proof, and said, “If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the Lord thy God, and wilt do that which is right in His sight, and wilt give ear to His commandments and keep all His statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee which I have brought upon the Egyptians; for I am the Lord that healeth thee.” 

Israel has been delivered from Egypt. They had just come from the Passover. They came to the Red Sea, and God made a way through the Red Sea. In chp 12 they had victory over death. In chp 14 they had victory over the Egyptians. In chp 15 you have their first song, a song of triumph and filled with praises to the Lord. And after three days in the wilderness, they had changed from singing into murmuring. Twelve times did they murmured. Murmuring is always against God from being unsatisfied with what He provides. Isn't that common in men? They praise the Lord for His faithfulness and three minutes later are back in the dumps murmuring. 

Every test and trial we go is an open door for God to display His power. How else can the Apostle Paul say:

2 Corinthians 12:9 And He said unto me, “My grace is sufficent for thee, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Most gladly therefore will I glory rather in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

It is in the tests and trials of life we get to know Christ. To praise Him in tests and trials is victory. 

As you read the history of Israel, you have to come to the conclusion that they preferred to be in slavery with the flesh parts of Egypt than in the wilderness with God. It is obvious today with many Christians that we prefer the flesh parts of the world to being alone in separation with God. They even wanted to go back to Egypt with their tummies full than with God's provision in the wilderness. 

They had been separated from Egypt (the world) for three days and wer tested. The moment you start walking with the Lord, you start to walk in separation. Sometimes when we walk in separation, it leads us to suffering. This is very hard to the flesh, and God's people become bitter. 

When you become bitter, you are the one who suffers. You become bitter and hateful.

Galatians 6:14 But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world. 

The death and resurrection of fdChrist is between the world and the believer. God is still displaying His love and mercy because he is pleading with men, longing for him to come to Him. But there is a day coming when that is going to end. 

Walking in separation from the world is going to cost us something. 

God said in Exodus, if you obey and do what is pleasing to me, I will not put the diseases that I put on the Egyptians. 

Exodus 23:25-26 And ye shall serve the Lord your God, and He shall bless thy bread and thy water; and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee. None shall cast their young nor be barren in thy land; the number of thy days I will fulfill. 

But this is dependant on obedience.

Deuteronomy 7:9, 12, 15 Know therefore that the Lord thy God, He is God, the faithful God, who keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love Him and keep His commandments to a thousand generations, “Therefore it shall come to pass, if ye hearken to these judgments and keep and do them, that the Lord thy God shall keep unto thee the covenant and the mercy which He swore unto thy fathers. And the Lord will take away from thee all sickness, and will put none of the evil diseases of Egypt, which thou knowest, upon thee, but will lay them upon all those who hate thee. 

Deuteronomy 28:22, 27-28 The Lord shall smite thee with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword, and with blight, and with mildew; and they shall pursue thee until thou perish. The Lord will smite thee with the boils of Egypt, and with the hemorrhoids, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed. The Lord shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart; 

It was dependant on obedience. He would have healed them for the 40 years in the wilderness and even past that. 

Luke 4:25-27 But I tell you in truth, many widows were in Israel in the days of Elijah, when the heaven was shut up three years and six months, when great famine was throughout all the land. But unto none of them was Elijah sent, save unto Zarephath, a city of Sidon, unto a woman that was a widow. And many lepers were in Israel in the time of Elisha the prophet, and none of them was cleansed, except Naaman the Syrian.” 

He didn't heal any Israelite. None wanted anything to do with Him as they didn't in Jesus' times. 

1 Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken hold of you but such as is common to man. But God is faithful; He will not suffer you to be tempted beyond that which ye are able to bear, but with the temptation will also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. 

Romans 5:3-6 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also, knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope; and hope maketh not ashamed, because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost who is given unto us. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 

When your eyes are in God, we know that God has brought me to that tribulation to experience His power, not to make me sour. 

1 Peter 1:7-8 that the trial of your faith being much more precious than gold that perisheth, though it be tested with fire might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen, ye love. In Him, though now ye see Him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory, 

Gold is put in the fire not to destroy it, but to purify it. 

Your faith is indestructible, but it must be tested and tried. There are things in our lives we must be rid off, so He passes us through the fire. 

Israel could have been freed from illness through obedience, but they allowed their unbelief to rob them.

Do not let your unbelief in the person and power of God to rob you of a walk wih God, of an obedience to His Word, of being filled with a peace that passes understanding, of joy He wants to fill you with bound in hope. 

Jesus is Jehovah Rapha

Psalm 103:2-5 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits— who forgiveth all thine iniquities, who healeth all thy diseases, who redeemeth thy life from destruction, who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies, who satisfieth thy mouth with good things, so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s. 

Mark 2:3-12 And they came unto Him, bringing one sick with the palsy, who was borne by four. And when they could not come nigh unto Him because of the throng, they uncovered the roof where He was. And when they had broken through, they let down the bed on which the one sick with the palsy lay. When Jesus saw their faith, He said unto the one sick with the palsy, “Son, thy sins are forgiven thee.” But there were certain of the scribes sitting there and reasoning in their hearts, “Why doth this man thus speak blasphemies? Who can forgive sins but God only?” And immediately, when Jesus perceived in His spirit that they so reasoned within themselves, He said unto them, “Why reason ye these things in your hearts: whether it is easier to say to the sick with the palsy, ‘Thy sins are forgiven thee,’ or to say, ‘Arise, and take up thy bed and walk’? But that ye may know that the Son of Man hath power on earth to forgive sins—” He said to the one sick with the palsy, “I say unto thee, arise, and take up thy bed, and go thy way into thine house.” And immediately he arose, took up the bed, and went forth before them all, insomuch that they all were amazed and glorified God, saying, “We never saw it in this fashion!” 

John 5:2-9 Now there is in Jerusalem by the sheep market a pool, which is called in the Hebrew tongue Bethesda, having five porches. In these lay a great multitude of invalid folk — blind, halt, withered — waiting for the moving of the water. For an angel went down at a certain season into the pool and troubled the water. Whosoever then first stepped in, after the troubling of the water, was made whole of whatsoever disease he had. And a certain man was there who had an infirmity for thirty and eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he had been in that state a long time, He said unto him, “Wilt thou be made whole?” The infirm man answered Him, “Sir, I have no man, when the water is troubled, to put me into the pool; but while I am coming, another steppeth down before me.” Jesus said unto him, “Rise, take up thy bed, and walk.” And immediately the man was made whole, and took up his bed and walked. Now it was the Sabbath on that day. 

In Exodus, the first revelation of Jehovah Rapha was in a pool. In John chp 5 the last revelation of God as healer in Israel was at a pool. 

Here was a man waiting 38 years, hopeless, helpless, forgotten. He had given up. He didn't asked Jesus to heal him; he just testified his hopelessnes: "I have no man to throw me in." 

If you have the power to heal and are down at that pool filled with infirm, how many would you have healed? Probably all of them. 

Do we have more compassion or tenderness than Jesus? 

Why did Jesus just healed one? 

He was the only one who had given up hope of getting into the pool. 

Why isn't everybody saved? Can't God save everybody? 

Because they trust something else, instead of Jesus. 

Do you know who Jesus saves? Sinners. 

Some people think their good works will get them to Heaven. 

They say: "If God puts my good works and bad works on a scale, the good works are more and He will let me in."

Where do they get that reasoning from? 

Proverbs 14:12 There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. 

It is when you come to the end of your self, as a hopeless, helpless sinner. That is the man God saves. 

Romans 4:5 But to him that worketh not, but believeth in Him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness, 

Titus 3:5 He saved us not by works of righteousness which we had done, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration, and by the renewing of the Holy Ghost, 

Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace are ye saved through faith, and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God— not by works, lest any man should boast. 

Our Lord Jesuschrist is Jehovah Rapha, the One Who heals. 

Luke 4:18 “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He hath anointed Me to preach the Gospel to the poor. He hath sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, 

Luke 4:19 to preach the acceptable year of the Lord.” 

Our Lord is here to heal sin-sicked souls. The moral is far more important than the physical. He told the man He healed from palsy to go and sin no more. That is moral responsibility. 

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come unto Me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.” 

John 6:37 All that the Father giveth Me shall come to Me, and him that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out. 

John 1:12-13 But as many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. 

Petty and insignificant

I wrote a post about how becoming a mommy didn't make you a different person, but it has made me a more sensitive person.

Motherhood has had a huge impact in my faith in God. 

Others´parenting journeys have also had a huge impact in my faith in God. 

And I love that this journey is only beginning. 

Yesterday a Facebook friend shared the story of a friend of hers who lost her boy to SUDC, Sudden unexplained death in childhood. At first I thought it was a new name for SIDS, Sudden infant death syndrome. To my surprise, SUDC is even more rare than SIDS. This is a mother who, like me, thought she was out of the woods of losing a child to crib death. I found her blog and was very touched by her story. I spent the night crying for her loss and praying for her heart. In one post, she speaks of how her struggles for the day were getting on time, keeping her clothes clean, things like that that seem impossible with a toddler. Now her struggles include fighting back constant tears, missing her boy on her arms, and finding how to be a mom to two older boys. I thought how hard it would be to keep my faith in God intact. She, on the other hand, tells how she is a new Christian, but she believes in God even more after losing her baby boy. She has to, she says, because otherwise who is keeping her boy company now? Who else will give her hope of seeing him again?

If you can't read stories like hers without a change of heart, there is something seriously wrong with your heart. It makes me analyze my life and see my struggles as petty and insignificant.
What are my struggles? Let's take a look at that:

1) I wanted to keep my old job. I struggled with this one for many weeks. From my wounded pride for how the administration treated me to my broken heart of losing my students, I felt sour about the whole thing for weeks, even after getting a new job. My new job includes a higher salary, more stability, a managering position that spruces up my curriculum, and, to top it of, a Christian environment. I work for the government. Never in my life did I think I would work in the government. For one, I don't have the contacts to get in (You need to know the right people to enter). Second, I didn't vote for the current administration, which in Honduras means you can't get a job in government (Talk about true democracy!). My boss is a Colonel who loves the Lord with all his heart and understand that only through the gospel can we transform Honduras. All the programs we work in his direction are to help the Honduran population: peace programs, anti-drugs programs, health programs, and so much more. We work in contexts of high violence and extreme poverty. Hundreds of lives are saved daily through the efforts of this direction. I feel so blessed to be part of this and witness what God is doing. Who would have thought I would get to see a God-fearing man in a place of influence doing God´s work in one of the most corrupt administrations this country has seen?!

2) I live with my in-laws. I struggled with this one for many months. I desired to move out and rent whichever place I could afford. Unfortunately, I could only afford a really small place, in a dangerous zone, with very little security and commodities, if I could afford it at all. I decided to live grateful where I was with all the advantages I had: a safe zone, closed neighborhood where my daughters could ride their tricycle in the streets, a nice room were we all fit, and helping hands from the in-laws. It took a while, but I was finally at peace with where we were at this time. And now it seems we will be able to move to an apartment at my Aunt´s house which has two rooms. It is small, but I am confident I can make it pretty and cozy. It is very budget friendly and it will give us a room of our own. Hooray!

3) My husband couldn't find a job in his area. We have been looking for an engineering job for my husband since December of last year. In the meantime, he worked at a school as a math teacher to make an income. He hated his job. He had the most annoying department coordinator in history. We knocked on every door we could. Everywhere we went we sought networking opportunities for a job possibility. Anytime we saw someone who could know of a job opportunity, I would pester him to do networking. He hated it and so did I. It hurt to see him so discouraged, feeling he was not good enough. I would tell him everyday that I had faith in God, and that he was going to get a job in His time. I tried to encourage him that this time of waiting had a purpose and God was working on his heart. We agreed to meet every night to pray together. We would pray for his job and then spend an hour or two praying and thanking God for many things and many people. Never have we prayed together so much. It became the bed time routine for my daughters, and they fell asleep hearing mommy and daddy praying, instead of us watching television while they fussed in their cribs. Our finances were finally enough for us to get out of debt and have some money left to go out and enjoy a little and also start saving. We were even able to take a mini trip to la Ceiba for my birthday weekend. We had a place to live, jobs that met our basic needs and gave us plenty of family time. There was much to be grateful for. My faith in God to provide the right job for him was unwavering. "Who do you believe in?" I asked him once, "because my God is El Elyon, the possesor of everything, and El Shaddai, the sufficient one to meet our needs." Last Thursday, after more than nine months searching, my husband got an engineering job. He quit his job last Friday at the school and started this Monday. I can't put into words the joy in my husbands face with his office, his bosses, the projects he will be working with. My God is faithful!

Petty and insignificant. What at one time felt like a struggle, today seems petty and insignificant.
One time I was talking to my husband of moving out and living more frugally. We already live very frugally, so this idea did not appeal to him. "I hate living in the worst-case-scenario situation," he replied. "Worst-case-scenario?" I admonished, "Honey, you come home to a room that has air conditioning, wifi, netflix, a flat screen, a nice bed, nice beds for your girls, your playstation (even if you can only play late at night when we are all asleep). Worst-case-scenario because we can't afford to eat out or go to the movies or buy new clothes? You should see what I see at work and witness a real worst-case-scenario."

Dear Father,
That mother is living my worst-case-scenario. My heart goes out to her. Your Word says that blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. Thank You for being her comforter. Thank You because You are Jehovah Shalom, the Lord is our peace. Fill her with that peace. Thank You for that beautiful life that was hers to cherish for over a year. Thank You for Your faithfulness towards my family. A week ago I wasn't daydreaming of moving out and finding pins in Pinterest to decorate small places, or watching my husband so happily go to the job he had long waited for. Yesterday the direction were I worked turned one year and we celebrated with a wonderful, long prayer giving You all the glory for all the great things You are doing here and the greater things You will do still. Thank You because Your plans are greater than our own. Thank You because You are working in my family and bringing us closer to You. Thank You for what this time has taught us in depending on You and knowing Who You are. Thank You for Lilly's birthday today. Thank You for this day. Lord, I understand that each day we get is a gift. We worry so much about the future and don't even know if we will be here. Let me treasure each day and live it to the fullest. Thank You for yesterday, a day so well lived. May today be the same. I love You. 

  

Kaylee's Tinkerbell First Birthday

As I started planning and making the decorations for Emmalee's upcoming third birthday, I realized I never shared Kaylee's first birthday, so here it is:

The girls were playing and eating cupcakes before the party. 

My really awesome, more-than-a-brother friend Tito opened the doors of his house with their gorgeous garden for the birthday party. It was perfect for a fairy enchanted theme. 

I made the backdrop using recycled old cardboard from an old bulletin board from school. And painting it with chalk was so fast and easy. It looked great. 

These have been my favorite cupcakes for a birthday to date. They were lemon cupcakes filled with lemon pie filling topped with italian meringue and some fondant roses. Great for a summer birthday. 

I am glad you can't tell by this picture, but because I do my daughters birthdays with months in advance, the girls broke this fairy tree several times. That is why there are so many flowers on the base to hide all the duck tape. 

I wanted the tinkerbell theme to be subtle, so I don't like having it be repetitive. That is why I did these simple butterflies for the girls' favors. 

The boys got pirate favor bags. I can't stress how much in love I am with my fruit pirate ship. I wish I could have embellished it more, but you can't premake it in advance. 

I kept the cake pops simple with a paper flower underneath. Loved using straws instead of cake pop sticks.

I saved that bee from the spelling bee bees from school. It eas just so cute. 

I liked the simple yet delicate birthday banner.

A fairy enchanted theme has to have plenty of flowers. To be budget friendly, I made them all out of paper, most of them from recycled paper from previous celebrations. I really enjoyed the different kinds of flowers you can make with paper. 

I made some simple felt tinks. I didn't like how these turned out, but my girls loved them and played with them until the felt came apart. lol

It was my first time doing this fondant technique and an ombre effect. I liked that the cake looked very enchanting. I tried to look for a toy tink to put as topper sith no luck. The printed cardboard one turned out alright. The Disney site even had one to print with the back side. 

the birthday girl used a felt flower crown, fairy wings, and a handmade tink dress made from a huge green shirt I found at walmart.

Those were Emmalee's green shoes from her first birthday. They were a little worn so I put a piece of felt on the front with the tink cotton balls. Those didn't last long as she pulled them out as soon as I put her down after this picture. Mommy went back and sew them on instead of gluing them. 

Daddy was on baby duty while mommy was setting up. 

Luckily I didn't have to make the piñata for this birthday.

Babies were not interested in a photo, only on the piñata.

Crown and wings lasted on just a little bit. :(

Happy baby!

Lovely friends and family!

happy birthday gorgeous!

Dear Kaylee, 

You are now 1 year and four months now. 

You still call me "papi" which really doesn't bother me. I hope you learn to call me mommy soon. 

Emmalee helps me out by repeating mommy when I ask you to say mommy. 

You are my little Tarzan. If it can be climbed, you will climb it: book shelves, tables, beds, stairs, toys, bicycles, anything!

I really have to keep a watchful eye with you. Your sister was not so devil-may-care. 

Your Aunt Lilly would be extatic with you as you are definitely a little dancer. Your Aunt would be teaching you ballet already if she lived in Honduras. 

You are very mysterious. I think it has to do with you not wanting your big sister to take whatever it is you are playing with. 

Augh, I can't emphasize enough how in love I am with you. From your funny dances, your outstretched arms when you see me, your kisses, your hipnotizing eyes, your funny hair, you laughter and your smile, everything about you leaves me breathless. 

You love to take baths, to go into the bathroom and grab all the things your parents have repeatedly told you not to grab, and to cuddle with mommy in the mornings. 

You are such a good eater. You are such a break in that area. You are sleeping through the night and have no health issues, which makes me infinitely grateful with our good Lord. 

Your saying right now is "a ver" when you want to see something on the ipad or my cell. 

I won't lie to you, you and your sister fight a lot still. 

But you also play so much. Emmalee loves hugging you and kissing you. She sometimes holds you too tight and you don't like it, but you are such a trooper for never crying when your sister's hugs are around your neck choking you.

Last night we were at the table having dinner and you embarassed your mom. Mommy started feeding you, and you turned away and instead said "amen." You reminded mommy of praying before eating. 

I pray you may always have a heart that puts the Lord first. 

Mommy, daddy, and Emmalee love you dearly. 

Jehovah Tsidkenu

Jehovah Tsidkenu, the Lord our righteousness.

Does the Lord have an interest in me? Well, He created us for His glory, and there will come a time when we will enjoy the presence of God. 

The revelation of Jehovah Tsidkenu is found in the prophet Jeremiah. Jeremiah was in a difficult situation in a nation moving fast towards judgment. they'd gone beyond the power of prayer. 

Three times God said to Jeremiah that He did not want him to pray for them nor will He listen to their prayers. 

Jeremiah 23:5-6 “Behold, the days come,” saith the Lord, “that I will raise unto David a righteous Branch; and a King shall reign and prosper, and shall execute judgment and justice in the earth. In His days Judah shall be saved, and Israel shall dwell safely; and this is His name whereby He shall be called: The Lord Our Righteousness. 

Jeremiah 33:15-16 In those days and at that time will I cause the Branch of righteousness to grow up unto David; and He shall execute judgment and righteousness in the land. In those days shall Judah be saved, and Jerusalem shall dwell safely. And this is the name wherewith she shall be called: The Lord Our Righteousness.’ 

It's a promised given to Jeremiah that Israel would live in peace when the righteous King comes. 

Romans 10:2-4 For I bear them record that they have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge. For they, being ignorant of God’s righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God. For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone that believeth. 

Israel was far removed from God. It's what caused the Babylonian captivity. There was nothing left for God to do but to judge righteously. 

Isaiah 46:12-13 Isaiah 45:23-25 “Hearken unto Me, ye stouthearted, that are far from righteousness: I bring near My righteousness; it shall not be far off, and My salvation shall not tarry; and I will place salvation in Zion for Israel My glory. I have sworn by Myself; the word is gone out of My mouth in righteousness, and shall not return, that unto Me every knee shall bow, every tongue shall swear. Surely, shall one say, ‘In the Lord have I righteousness and strength. Even to Him shall men come, and all that are incensed against Him shall be ashamed. In the Lord shall all the seed of Israel be justified, and shall glory.’” 

He is the only One that is righteousness. Righteousness will win. There can be no peace on earth until the righteousness comes. 

Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace, and the effect of righteousness, quietness and assurance for ever. 

Isaiah 26:9-10, 12 With my soul have I desired Thee in the night; yea, with my spirit within me will I seek Thee early; for when Thy judgments are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness. Let favor be shown to the wicked, yet will he not learn righteousness; in the land of uprightness will he deal unjustly, and will not behold the majesty of the Lord. Lord, Thou wilt ordain peace for us; for Thou also hast wrought all our works in us. 

Man has tried to bring what they call a "utopia." It is a wonderful thing, but man does not have the capacity to do it. Only the righteous can bring peace to earth because peace is the result of righteousness. There will only be world peace when righteousness sits in the throne.

Jesuschrist is our righteousness now. He is Jehovah Tsidkenu. 

Isaiah 64:6 But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away. 

We can't be righteous before God by our own doing. They are filthy rags. 

God will never recognize anything that men does as righteousness. 

Romans 3:10-12 As it is written: “There is none righteous, no, not one; there is none that understandeth; there is none that seeketh after God. They have all gone from the way; they have together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.” 

Scriptures have concluded all under sin and unbelief.

Romans 11:32 For God hath concluded them all in unbelief, that He might have mercy upon all. 

Unless I am covered with the garments of righteousness, I can't come before God.

Isaiah 61:10 I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall be joyful in my God. For He hath clothed me with the garments of salvation; He hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels. 

How much righteousness do you have? 

Titus 2:6 Titus 3:5 He saved us not by works of righteousness which we had done, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration, and by the renewing of the Holy Ghost, Likewise exhort the young men to be soberminded, 

Unless you have a righteousness that equals that of God, you cannot stand in His presence. Stop this idea of trusting something that you can do or hope to do. Christ is the only Savior. 

The law was never given to save you or justify you. The law demands things but gives you no strength to do it. Everyone of us was born in sin and shaped in iniquity with no righteousness at all how in the world can we keep a holy law? We have not the strength or capacity. It was given to show us our need of a savior. 

Galatians 3:24-25 Therefore the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith. But after faith has come, we are no longer under a schoolmaster. 

Christ did not die to secure your righteousness; you didn't have any. He died to vindicate the righteous character of God. He died to put away your sin. He did live to keep the law for you. He kept it to prove He was a fit sacrifice for sinners. The heart of man is primarily legalistic. We think we can add to the work of God. They think they are going to merrit favor with God. There is only One man God looks upon: His o ly begotten Son. You must be in Christ if you will stand before God. 

How can a righteous God pour His love upon sinners? He can't do it at the expense of His righteousness, His character. From your point of view you'd say it is hopeless. But God made the provision in Jesuschrist so we may stand not only forgiven of sins but in righteousness. 

Jesus died to make the righteousness of God available to men. 

Romans 3:24-28 being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus. Him God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in His blood, to declare His righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God; to declare, I say, at this time, His righteousness: that He might be just, and the justifier of him that believeth in Jesus. 

Where is boasting then? It is excluded. By what law? Of works? Nay, but by the law of faith. Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith apart from the deeds of the law. 

Romans 4:4-5 Now to him that worketh, his reward is reckoned not according to grace, but according to debt. But to him that worketh not, but believeth in Him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness, 

Romans 10:4 For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone that believeth. 

1 Corinthians 1:30 But because of Him are ye in Christ Jesus, who from God is made unto us wisdom and righteousness, and sanctification and redemption, 

2 Corinthians 5:21 For He hath made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him. 

John Bunyan said;"Our righteousness is at God's right hand, where our good works cannot help it and our failures do not hurt it, and no one else is full of exultation when we say: 'We are accepted in the beloved.'" 

Christ is our righteousness now. For the nation of Israel, Christ will be their righteousness in the Millenium. When He reigns, they are going to call Him Jehovah Tsidkenu. But for us, we can have His righteousness now in Christ Jesus. 

No one will ever enjoy peace without righteousness. What this world needs is not a politician or a man-made king, or an economic genius or military strategist. We need righteousness to come to reign. When Our Savior comes a second time He will rule with a rod of righteousness. That gives us assurance. That is why Paul says He knows Whom he hath believed. 

Today, death reigns because of sin. But in His reign, righteousness will reign and we will experience peace. 

2 Peter 3:13-14 Nevertheless we, according to His promise, look for new heavens and a new earth, wherein dwelleth righteousness. Therefore, beloved, seeing that ye look for such things, be diligent that ye may be found by Him in peace, without spot and blameless. 

Where are You, God?

Seriously? Where are You? 

I am feeling in despair, Lord. Everything just seems to go wrong, and I sit here and wonder, where are You? Are You listening to our prayers? Are You listening to my cries? 

I've often found clarity in my thoughts through writing, so here I go in search for You. 

Lord, everything seems to be going wrong. I am angry with you. Why did you take me out of my previous job to a better job, a job I have come to love and cherish, just to have it end the way it did?  Why?

Emmalee has an infected tooth that is going to cost us 375$ to fix if we want to save her four top incissors. If we don't, she risks the infection reching her bones or her brain. If she looses her teeth, we risk a speech impediment. Why?

We took the car today to have a repair done. We were thinking it was only a 50$ repair. Now it turns out it is a 180$ repair! A month after another car repair had cost us 300$. Why?

Rodolfo has been looking for a job since Janaury 1st of this year. We pray every morning for a job for him. We have tried everywhere, every contact, every friend, every work place. Nothing. Why?

Where are You? 

Where are You!

And then I can see it.

You are in my mother, who goes beyond her capabilities to support us and helps us through these hard times. "Where would we be without her?" I always ask, You are in my father, who for the first time in years has a business go right and what does he do with his earnings? He uses them to bless me and my family. You are in my Aunt Juanita, who has been seeking to help me keep my job and who sends us unbidden finantial support. You are in my friends and collegues, who advocate for me before my superiors. You are in my friends who are prayer warriors for us and offer encouragement. You are in my husband, who is loving, hard working, patient, and a good father. You are in my girls, who grow more beautiful, smart, taller, healthier each day with a great love for their mother. 

I had been receiving encouragement from my Bible studies of Your names. I had a lot of free time in school last week and wanted to finish the two lessons of the course. I allowed Satan to win that battle. I didn't want to hear You are Jehovah-Jireh, the Lord provides when I had been wondering where You've been.

As I said in the beginning of the post, I find clarity in my writing. 

Where is Jehovah-Jireh, the Lord provides? 

He is in the Cross, providing salvation of my soul for me. He is in the Cross providing a way for me to the Father, opening a path in which I can have fellowship with Him and walk with Him. 

Where is Jehovah-Shalom, the Lord is my peace? 

He is there in the Cross, giving me the peace that nothing in this world can separate me from His love and His hand because His sacrifice for me is enough to cover my sins. He is in the promise that I will not want. In the promise that he feeds the birds and clothes the fields and will do so with me. 

Where is Jehovah-Raah, the Lord is my shepherd?

He is in His Word, that guides me and renews my heart to be free from the bondage of sin. 

He is in the promise that even though I walk through the valley of death and sorrow, no evil will come to me because You are with me.

Where is Jehovah- Tsidkenu, the Lord is my righteousness?

Well, I definitely hope He gives me justice for the injustice I experienced, but He never promised an easy life. He promised He would be there. He is in the Cross, dying to pay the righteous debt I had against Him so that I could be justified through faith.

Where is Jehovah Nissi, the Lord is my banner?

He is there in the promise that everything that happens to us is for our good. He is in His will for us which is good, agreeable, and perfect. He is in the Cross telling us that if we believe in Him no one will take us from His hand. He will be with us until the end of time. 

Where is El Shadai, the fruitful One?

He is the one Who promised to refined us, but it was to be done through fire. He is the One Who asks us to consider it great joy when facing many trials because this perfects our faith and, in turn, perfects our love for Him. He is the loving God Who will not leave us in the state He found us, but works in us to make us more like Him. It is not an easy road and it hurts. The only meaningful change in our old sinful man hurts. 

El Shadai is also the One Who is sufficient. He is sufficient to meet our needs, even if it is not in the ways we want. 

Where is El Elyon, the possessor of everything and most high God? Or El Elohim, the creator of everything?

I battled with this one. Possessor of everything, can't you provide my husband with the job we need? Yes He can, but He has far greater things in sight than our material needs. He sees our hearts and our need to depend in Him wholeheartedly. 

He is in the Cross. The most High God, possessor and creator of everything, is in the Cross having taken the lowly form of man and shedding His precious untained blood and life for our life. 

To the Cross! To the foot of the Cross I must go and surrender to the will of my Lord. 

Would I be seeking where He is if everything went my way? 

Would I learn to value the Cross as I do today?

Would I learn His greatness even in my lowliness if I weren't lowly?

What then am I left to do?

Psalms 33:20-22

We wait in hope for the Lord;

    he is our help and our shield.

In him our hearts rejoice,
    for we trust in his holy name.

May your unfailing love be with us, Lord,
    even as we put our hope in you.

Philippians 4:4-7

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!                                                                            Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.                                                             Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.                                                                                                                   And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

And gratitude, as always, is the way to go:

Thank You Lord that we discovered Emmalee's tooth infection in time to be able to save her teeth. 

Thank You that even though the car's directional and wheels were malfunctioning, you guarded our lives and kept us safe and accident free. 

Thank You because even though Rodolfo still has not found a job, Your faithfulness allowed us to reach his graduation, something we thought could not come soon enough. 

Thank You for wonderful family that looks after us and provide for our needs. 

Thank You because financial problems are fixable. Because You refine us through tough times that don't include terminal illness, untimely deaths, or things that are uncomparable to material needs. 

Thank You for being there for us, for promising to be with us until the end of time, for promising to provide even for our material needs, and for dying for us in that Cross. 

Thank You for a strong and loving family. 

Thank You for beautiful growing daughters.

Thank You for lovely friends and prayer warriors. 

Thank You beforehand because I know You will provide a good job for me. 

Thank You Lord because through Your names I can call you MY: my banner, my peace, my shepherd, my provider, my salvation, my God.