What is better

Luke 10


38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Marthaopened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

I've heard countless of sermons on this passage; I have to admit I had never quite got it til now. 

To be honest, I've even resented Mary on this passage. Why? I think of poor Martha, attending everyone on her own and feeling overwhelmed while her sister happily sat at Jesus feet. "How inconsiderate," I always thought to myself.

You see, we have no further background story. Was Mary always this way? Did she help Martha at other times? Being the oldest of my siblings and analyzing Martha's character, it seems to me she is the oldest of the two. She was probably used to giving her sibling orders to help around the house and, by her reaction, it seems that she was used to Mary obliging. When I'm not used to my siblings helping out with something I don't get upset because I expect that from them. When I expect a certain attitude from them and don't receive it, then I get upset. 

Looking at Mary's character in other passages, this analysis of her being serviceable seems to fit well. But you can see why I would take Martha's side; I identify myself more with her. I didn't feel much sisterly affection when I would be in the kitchen cooking for our guests while my sister happily sat in the living room with them laughing and watching movies or playing games. 

But there is something in this passage that shocks me: Jesus Himself defends Mary!

Can you recall of another time when Jesus defends another person? I can't. 

"Mary has chosen what is better!"

Such truth behing those words when seen closer.

Do we do things that are good but we are not choosing what is better? 

Why had I never gotten this passage before like I do now?

Well, I have my own household now. And to keep it and to serve those in it, I "worry and upset about many things." Never before have I been busier.

So what about Jesus' " but few things are needed—or indeed only one"?

What is this better Mary has chosen? 

Time with the Lord. 

In my teen years, I had all the time in the world and I spent it in the Word, in time alone with God, in time in prayer and meditation, in time in worship and exultation. I had time to write God songs and poems, time to write or tell Him my thoughts and desires, time to sit in His beauty. 

How grateful I am Lord that I had this time and You made me use it wisely!

Nowadays I feel as though time is my enemy and I don't even have time to finish what I must do. 

What I must do.... Ponder on those words. 

What "must" you do?

Clean the house, cook the meals, go to work, fold the laundry, feed the dogs, go to the bank, go to the grocery store, go to the pharmacy, go to church, etc, etc, etc. 

Martha's guest really didn't need a perfect meal or a pristine floor. They were going to receive word from the Word itself, from the fountain of life and water that never runs dry. Mary knew this, needed this, chose this.

There is no greater thing on earth than time with the Lord. If you must leave a pile of unfolded laundry for another day or make an effort to rise earlier to cook the meals to make time ALONE with the Lord, this you must chose!

"It will not be taken away from her..."

God will not take this away from you. He will defend you and publicly praise you if you chose the better. Only you can give it away for things that don't matter and are not neccesary. 

I have taken this from myself! 

Mary understood something: Jesus was all that mattered. Did she have Him on her home everyday? NO! So why would she waste that time running around the house to do chores? 

To me, it seemed as though Martha HAD to attend them (to Martha as well) and because she HAD to, Mary was being inconsiderate by not helping her. How could she have the King of kings on her home and not attend him to the best of her possibilities? Doesn't that seem logical: that if you are having such an important guest you should make better preparations and have more attentions? 

Yes, it would be exactly our reaction, wouldn't it? 

How confused we are with what we HAVE to do and what we NEED to do. 

"You are worried and upset about many things." How many of us would be described by that sentence?

And for what? 

Mary chose what brought her life. 

Do the things we do brings us life? 

Don't get me wrong, the things we do have to be done and it has been given to us to do by His grace and strength, but we must never allow them to take life away from us, never allow us to take time away from the Lord.
The things we do for our houses and our families are good. Lets not get stuck only in good!

Look at the things you do and ask yourself if you are chosing the better?

Time in you car: spending it hearing christian music: good; spending it hearing a sermon: better; spending it memorizing the Word: best! 

Lord, 

Give the grace to chose better, to chose You. 

Teach me what Mary knew that she sat on your fit to hear you without concerns or worries of her worldly duties because they had a second place. Don't let me put these things before what's really important and neccesary. Teach me always.

I love You. 

DIY Fabulous Rocking chair for nursery plus Over the Rainbow video!

As you all may know, I'm a lover of all things DIY. 

It had been a dream of mine to do a DIY project with the hubby and it finally came true. 

I had pinned this chair transformation since I had a similar glidder, but I really like my traditional country looking glidder, so we decided to restore it. 

Here is our first DIY project together:

 This is with what we started off. 

My Aunt had bought this old glidder at the market and never got around to restoring it. 

I'm tackling my very first sewing project, Crossing fingers it goes well. 

The top pillow turned out great!

 The hubs is so meticulous he took the glidder apart and cleaned every single piece. 

 This is what it looked like. The hubs sanded by hand every piece for two days!!!!

Here's a side view of the old thing.

And here it is after paint and back together

And this is how it looks with the new pillows I made.

Doesn't it look beautiful??!!!

As you can guess, I'm overjoyed!!!! :)

And I thought I'd try it out and do some baby rocking while singing some lullaby!

Please don't be harsh on me.

Here is a video of me singing Over the Rainbow on my new rocking chair! Oh the songs I'll sing to my daughter! I might feel encouraged to post the lullaby I created! We'll see :) 

Your bounties are too much!

I've been dying to write a thank you post this week but since I took wonderful, blessed vacations this past weekend, I had my work load to come back to.

We are so, so blessed. The Lord's bounties and mercies for us are truly unmeasurable and completely undeserved.His provision is beyond our understanding and we are truly grateful.
We were able to take a small vacation to the north coast of our lovely country, Some of you have been asking for pregnant pics of me, so here are some pics of the trip and my belly.

 On the road for the first time on our car. 

It's was quite a comfy ride

 After our first meal at the resort. 

How much of that belly is Emmalee then, I wonder :P

 The camera always got blurry because of the weather.

How cute are my maternity clothes gifted from my mom?

 Love his smile :)

 Yippie!!

 There you go: my belly at 6 1/2 months

 Truly blessed with a wondruous husband!

Honduras is beautiful

It was truly a wonderful time. 

I took advantage of the pools to do alot of workout without the swelling on my ankles because of the weight.

I was actually very well behaved and filled 3/4 of my plate with salad, and 3/4 of my dessert plate with fruit. And I stilled enjoyed the food alot; just not as much as the hubs. I'm very grateful he didn't get sick (I have him used to less meaty meals and less quantity. He enjoyed desserts very much). We had perfect weather. Also very grateful I was awake during the whole trip and didn't leave the hubs on the road alone. It was truly marvelous to have time to ourselves and have endless talks. Grateful for the wonderful health I enjoyed the whole trip; I even got to play beach volleyball after some begging for permision from the hubs. We were even blessed with the opportunity to share time with the hub's family in SPS and enjoy a lovely lunch with them. 

I can't express how grateful I am for my birthday as well. It's curious who is the one who loves you at different times in your life. When I was a little girl, I celebrated with mainly family. When I was a teenager, I celebrated mainly with the youth church. This year I celebrated with my coworkers who took me to my favorite restaurant in town: My sweet Marcela's Central Perk (It's a sushi and pizza place my friend opened in Honduras taking advantage the Friend's coffee shop named wasn't taken). The pizza and sushi were superb as always. The hubs was extra special even having a bouquet of flowers delivered to my office. 

*507 a perfect trip to la Ceiba with the hubs. Thank you deeply Lord

*508 a wonderful birthday with my husband and coworkers.

*509 I was able to attend Bible group because they moved it to Thursday. It was a truly blessed time with tons of sharing from the book of Acts that left us all very challenged to be more like the Christians of that time. 

*510 wonderful health during my trip. 

*511 still no stretch marks! Lets keep hoping it stays that way. I don't have the best skin. :S

*512 Me and Meli turning 27!!! :O!!! 27! Lovely time with her on her birthday and an on hold b-day celebration for mine

*513 Luis turning 10, Ditto turning 23 and Dad turning 61!!! :O (All my family except mom and hubs have bdays on September. Dear sis Pit is next :) )

*514 Luis bday chocolate cake turning out sooooo good. Doing one for dad today!

*515 Youth church and my dear brothers-in-law on camp, returning encouraged and challenged on their service and life for the Lord. 

*516 Having my job done on time despite the trip. Hooray!

*517 Finishing another nursery project. Post on them soon, soon! 

*518 Mom sending my bro's camera so I can take pic of my pregnancy progress and my nursery projects.

*519 Caroly and Pit helping us out financially by kindly selling some of our stuff on their garage sale. 

His bounties are truly too much! 

Love you, Lord. 

Combating a hardened-heart state of being

I've never considered myself a philosophical person, but I think I am one more than I think.
My favorite book in the Bible to read is Ecclesiastes, and, to my humble opinion, it is the most philosophical book in the Bible.
It addressed the questions and reasons of life, love, and why.

Fumoffu's death still haunts me. I must confess I haven't felt very warm and fuzzy inside since and I hadn't realized how much it had affected me.
My pastor, who happens to also be a doctor, adviced me not to linger in the sadness of losing my darling Fumoffu because it would make the baby more sensible to negative emotions like sorrow and depression.
I honestly have not been dwelling on her death or letting sad thoughts of what happened inside my head, but there are somethings my mind still doesn't have control over my body. 
As much as I try to stay positive, my stomach likes to act out when I'm feeling down and it's been a slow process getting my swollen colon back to normal.

In the spirit of confession, I haven't felt too inclined to search for the spiritual either. I have been praying and reading my Bible less and the flame of desire for more of the Lord feels a little extinguished. You know, those days when you know you have a hardened heart? I hate my hardened heart state of being and I try to combat it as soon as possible. The fact that I journaled more often when I was a teenager certainly helped keep this condition away, for I would bring my mind back to the right train of thought. I think it was really the Spirit Who brought this right train of thought back; I was just more open.

Back to Ecclesiastes.
Solomon was granted great wisdom and I find myself pondering on his own pondering of life:

Ecclesiastes 1:2

"Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity."

Here is an interesting definition of vain
1: having no real value : idle, worthless <vain pretensions>
2: marked by futility or ineffectualness : unsuccessful, useless<vain efforts to escape>
3: archaic : foolish, silly

My definition for vain was also futile, thus life is futile.
What use was it for a mother to sacrifice everything for years in order to raise her children alone to have them reproach her when they are older?
What is the use of a husband's great love for his wife when he could lose her to death so impressively easily?
Or how easy it would be for an expectant mother to lose what she dreams and hopes for?

I read about a man killing 77 people in Norway because of his political beliefs and regretting his death toll wasn't greater.
I read about the fact that an average of 44 women are murder in my country per month.
I hate it when I see pictures in facebook requesting likes that would "help" a child get surgery and display the little one's feeble and regretable state.

I was telling my husband that I was afraid of taking a vacation trip because I'm afraid something might happen to us with our country's non-stop growing corruption. He said to me: "Where is your trust?" to which I answered: "My trust can be on the Lord and that still doesn't mean the evil in this world can't touch me." And then as we arrived home in the dark and lonely street infront of my house I realized: "I could as easily be killed here opening the garage of my house as anywhere else."

The evil in this world is too great. The futility of life is too great.
Like having a perfect record at work for months of 0 programs with errors and have a single error bring all that crumbling down.
You strive for growth and maturity, and discipline and responsability, but we are just too imperfected.
Of all of God's creation, mankind is the most flawed.
I've even heard my atheist co-workers use that point for their created-in-God's-image argument. And I know that it is the curse of sin in this world that is to blame. But try explaining sin! I try.
Sin and death, loss and suffering all introduced by one man and one woman. I get angry at them from time to time and then I remember I would have probably been no better.

I sound depressive, don't l? Didn't I tell you I detest this hardened-heart state of being!
What I usually do is place all this thoughts down and then contradict them with God's love and God's Word. Find joy in life in Him and in a life filled with grattitude.
Today I turn to one of my favorite writers alive, Jon Foreman.

Jon Foreman the Cure for Pain Lyrics

So I'm not sure why it always flows downhill
Why broken cisterns never could stay filled
I've spent ten years singing gravity away
But the water keeps on falling from the sky

And here tonight while the stars are blacking out
With every hope and dream I've ever had in doubt
I've spent ten years trying to sing these doubts away
But the water keeps on falling from my eyes

And heaven knows, heaven knows
I tried to find a cure for the pain
Oh my Lord! To suffer like you do
It would be a lie to run away

So blood is fire pulsing through our veins
We're either writers or fools behind the reigns
I've spent ten years trying to sing it all way
But the water keeps on falling from my tries

And heaven knows, heaven knows
I tried to find a cure for the pain
Oh my Lord! To suffer like you do
It would be a lie to run away
A lie to run
It would be a lie
It would be a lie to run away

It keeps on falling (x4)
Water keeps on falling from my eyes

And heaven knows, heaven knows
I tried to find a cure for the pain
Oh my Lord! To suffer like you do
It would be a lie to run away (x3)

Oh my Lord! to suffer like you do...
Isn't he brilliant? One day (maybe,hopefully) I'll be able to express a feeling in words so vividly and universally that can convey so much to such a great and diverse crowd.
I liked a facebook status a dear friend wrote;
"We are constantly confused about suffering because we are not living for the right reasons"
Interesting food for thought, don't you think?
I'm hoping to overcome this state of being. I take heart in this verse:

Romans 12:21

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

This life in this world is futile, but I must remember this is not my home. I am a foreigner here and will never feel completely in place.
And as this is the faith and hope I've been given, I continue to add goodness to my faith to overcome evil.
Even the wisest man that lived has a spirited conclusion to life after all the vanity:

Ecclesiastes 12

¹³

13 Now all has been heard;

    here is the conclusion of the matter:

Fear God and keep his commandments,

    for this is the duty of all mankind.

14 For God will bring every deed into judgment,

    including every hidden thing,

    whether it is good or evil.

That's good philosophy!

It's a Girl, the story.

This story is nothing new in alot of places, but here in Honduras it was quite a novelty.
Actually, I got the idea from a fellow blogger.
We had been anxiously waiting for the time to be able to find out the baby's gender.
When the time finally came my husband was surprised to hear that I wanted to wait for the result.
He thought I was not going to be able resist temptation.

It was the first time ever I had had the willpower to wait for my monthly checkup appointment without moving the date ahead. I called the day before to confirm my appointment, when my doctor told me she was not seeing patients that week because she was sick and my appointment had been moved 8 days later. I'm sorry, I had behaved enough to wait more so I went to a different doctor. She spent almost an hour making sure she was sure of the baby's sex, but I had requested ahead that she didn't tell me the sex but write it down on an envelope. She was so cute making sure her doctor-handwriting was legible.

To my husband's surprise, I asked him to take me to a bakery. I gave the envelope to the baker and asked her to bake me a cake with a blue filling if the envelope said boy or a pink filling it said girl, but no disclosure in the outside design. We picked a strawberry design from the counter and went our way having to wait till 4pm in the afternoon of the NEXT day to know the sex. Talk about self-control growth!

We invited close family and friends to come to the reveal to find out the baby's sex together. I wanted to invite more friends but it was such a hectic day I was unable to send out more invites :(. I wanted to have mommy on skype but she had to do errands. We were gonna have her online on the phone and she was without service at the moment of the cake cutting!!! :(.. But the joy to reveal Emmalee Zelaya is coming to us on December was greater than anything else.

the cake! What will the inside contain? Pink? Blue?

 You can see my excitement to see what's it going to be!

 It's pink!!!! A Girl!!!

 My husband had no idea how to react

And after the surprise, enjoy wonderful cake!

Dear Emmalee,
We are so excited to find out you'll be a little princess. Daddy is a little overwhelmed. We bug him because he will be surrounded only by girls in the house with Lanky, Terry, Grandma Estela, me, and now you. Your momma Linda is the most excited Grandma in the world. She has been refraining herself from buying you tons of stuff and can't wait to come see you in the belly and accompany me in labour. We are so blessed to have her. She sent me some clothes and belts to give you space, keep you comfy, and keep mommy happy and stylish. Grandma Martha has been helping me by cooking for me and taking care of me when I'm feeling tired. Grandpa Edgardo will soon start working on your crib, and I'm sure Grandpa  Rodolfo will make you something too; you have crafty grandpa's. Daddy has been taking great care of mommy by rubbing her feet daily, putting her the creams to care for her body, and being the best husband in the world. He's been anxiously waiting to feel you move in the belly and constantly touches it to see if that time has come. He's jealous I can already feel you moving, specially when mommy turns over her belly at night; you don't like that at all. Your aunt and uncles are so excited. You have one Aunt and three uncles, plus the many, many aunts and uncles from the Christ-family you'll also have. They are all praying for you and completely sure you'll be the most beautiful girl in the world. We love you very much!

Do not become weary of doing Good (Adding Goodness to your faith Part 3)

Lets consider this Part 3 to adding Goodness to your Faith....
Inspiration to write hasn't hit me lately.
I write only when I have something I want to say.
Hmmm... Have I had nothing to say lately?

I usually write when I want to share what the Lord has been doing in my life and all that He's been teaching me.
It's not that He hasn't been teaching me lately or doing something in my life. Maybe I've been a little reluctant to share that that He's been doing. 
Since Fumoffu's departure, there have been some series of events that have surely shocked my darling baby. 
Fortunately, I've been able not to worry much; I've trusted God fully that He is control with the baby's health, and I've been at peace and thoroughly cared for by my hubby.

Today's subject is more of a lecture to myself.
"Let us not become weary in doing good."

Lately I feel extremely annoyed after a weekend serving in the church band or church group.
You can read about that here and here.

This weekend was all about my pregnacy.
Last week I had a bad case of irritable bowel syndrome and my belly (and I'm not joking or exaggerating) pretty much doubled in size.
It got so bad I had to go to the hospital on Thursday to have meds through IV to help with the pain and swelling. 
Everywhere I go people feel the need to comment on how huge my belly is and how huge my baby must therefore be. Sigh.
People that have never spoken to me before!
And it's one thing to have my friends ask me if the baby is kicking, how far in the pregnancy I am, when is my due date, and anything they want to ask, even caress the belly;
but to have total strangers who have never before had the decency to say a hello do all that!!
GRRRRR!
I've never been a touchy-feely girl so I'm not so much into hugs and all that, and to have strangers touch me! TOUCH ME! AHHHHH!!!!!!
Show me the emergency Exit now!

Excuse me, readers, this is my flesh and human nature pouring out.
By the end of Saturday, I was really wishing my stomach would start acting out again so I'd have an excuse not to repeat the experience on Sunday.
Important life lesson: When your weakness is showing, it's the best opportunity to let God be strong and teach you. Find His teaching in your weakness!

What is the teaching in this noticeable sinful thinking and annoyed nature?
Two things:
1. People who have never spoken to you before are approaching you because of your pregnancy. Why not use that for God's glory in making acquaintances and friends and letting people in so you might serve them and bless them? Even people out of church are approaching you. Why not use it to expand the gospel instead of thinking of your petty discomforts of being touched and questioned?
2. Serving in church is not easy. If at one point it was, your heart was probably at a better place. If it isn't, you still have no excuse because you have been called not to grow weary.

Galatins 6
7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Have you been asking God to be His hands and feet and found yourself annoyed when an opportunity to be just that comes along. Have you noticed it?
Have you meditate on it? It is usually at the time we pray God to use us that it becomes the hardest. Remember, Satan is at play.

What an important part faith has here. How many times have I heard people say they've served God and have received nothing in return! First of all, are you doing things to receive something in return or to give God glory. Let us never forget the reason we do things! But the verse comes with promise; a promise only received by faith: at the proper time we will reap.

Add goodness to your faith by not giving up!

And what a great way to changed the annoyed thought than with gratefulness:
*493 Fumoffu's life and love. She is truly missed because of how extraordinary pet she was and how deeply she was loved. Thank you.
*494 a willing and loving husband that cares for his pregnant wifey.
*495 despite the minor mishap, this pregnant lady has enjoyed great health.
*496 maternity clothes sent by mom. SOOOOO extremely blessed by them, especially the pants! Thanks for the pants mom!
*497 mommy's trip to europe! Oh lala! Excuse me and my Italian vacations! So happy for the blessings You give her.
*498 Aunt Jenny's Italian wedding. Bless them and teach them to be a Christ-centered family.
*499 Pit's salsa weekend with Caroly. Glad they had fun.
*500 A huge, humongous, gianormous house. Seriously, I get tired walking from the kitchen to the bathroom in that monster of a house. How lucky!
*501 A house to host surprise birthday party for my boss. Glad she was happy and blessed.
*502 Noisy dogs. I feel like murdering them cause they bark at nothing and scare the hubs, but I'm still grateful for them.
*503 a weekend serving in church without much stomach problems and feet discomfort. Finding clothes that fit me to sing in stage before the maternity clothes arrived :)
*504 a nursery in progress. LOVE the DIY proyects I've been entertained with
*505 lodging Rodol's friends from San Pedro Sula.
*506 the hubs spending time with his long-time-no-see friends. 

Goodbye Fumoffu

Waking up to the aftermath of the events that took place yesterday wasn't as hard as I thought it be. I was eager to be at work with my mind occupied than in bed with my despondent heart and my incessant mind replaying everything.
Yesterday I lost my darling dog Fumoffu to a tragic accident.
She had been the family's dog for a little more than 6 years. She even went with us on our adventure of moving to Mexico.

That is she and I going to the airport. 

When we got to Mexico, we were unaware that the climate would have an effect on her (Mexico City is much colder than Tegucigalpa). We had to buy her sweaters so she could have time to acclimate.

That's she with her sweater and on my bed. As you can see, she was very spoiled

She is often seen in my brother's poi and juggling videos running around happily on the yard. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xDWeKK_Lyk&feature=plcp

Here is a pic of her visiting Mexico's downtown Socalo

The whole Maradiaga Family!

She moved back to Honduras on March because my brother in Mexico had to move to an apartment where no dogs were allowed. 

The hubs and I were happy to receive her, but she was a handful.

Having lived inside the house, on my or my brother's bed, and pretty much doing whatever she pleased, It was hard for her to adjust to my husband's more dog-like life for her: outside the house with the other two dogs and, by no reason, on the sofas or beds. 

It took almost two months for her to stop howling all night begging to be allowed inside. However, she really liked the open space my house's yard provides. That yard is dog heaven and Fumoffu enjoyed every inch of it, especially during the rain (She didn't help her chances of getting inside!).

We couldn't understand why the other two dogs where dry and clean and under the garage roof during the rain, but Fumoffu was covered deep in mud and drenched. She loved it! And she showed us her happiness by jumping on us and our clothes in that state. 

She had a hard time having other dogs around. She had been a single dog-daughter in my family. Here she shared love, food, space, and attention with Terry and Lanky. It was funny to see how she was the oldest and smallest, yet she dominated the other two. At first she was kind of a loner, but then you could catch her playing with the other two dogs. I even caught them sharing her bed (only she had a bed my mom sent from Mexico) and even giving each other kisses. 

She was just re-learning obedience (the obedience she had was lost when I left Mexico), but she was being very stubborn. One of the things we tried hard to teach her is not to run infront or behind the car when we were entering or leaving the house. This she never learned. My husband and I were very watchful to see where she was when we would move the car. My husband was watchful and careful of this yesterday, but, in a glimpse, she ran accross and got run over. 

He immediately ran to see if she was ok and got bitten pretty bad on the hand. He tried to pick her up again to take her to the vet but she would growl and bear her teeth, and my husband had only a good hand left to grab her. He came to pick me up at work so we could take her and him to the doc, but when we got home it was too late. 

I'm grateful my sister was around to drive us to the ER to have my husband's hand checked and help me calm down. 

My wonderful in-laws all came to help me burry her and console me. 

I'm grateful my brother in Mexico (who loved her dearest) was with his girlfriend when he got my call and she was able to console him. 

I'm grateful my mom had our dear friend Abelardo with her in Panama there to console her too.

She meant a lot for all of us and we thought we had many years ahead with her by our side. 

Here is a little video of her most quirky trait known to everyone as: SARITA! 

  

Death has left me pondering much on how to cope with it and make sense of the mess of you it leaves.
If you know someone is going to die (old age or health related), you are left with the pain of the departed loved one, but a sense that all that could have been done was done.
If the death is sudden and out of the blue, you are left with more than the loss of the departed, but with a sense of uselessnes, a bunch of "what ifs" and "could I had done..?", a sense you and the departed where robbed: robbed of time, love, and moments.

It has left me two painful revelations:

1. It's astonishing to realize just how frail life is. 

2. As painful as losing a loved one is, life goes on. 

Ecclesiastes 7:2

It is better to go to a house of mourning
than to go to a house of feasting,
for death is the destiny of everyone;
the living should take this to heart.

When facing death, I feel as though time should stop, life should pause. Life and time were stopped for someone else, it should stop for you as well. But it doesn't. You wake up next morning and continue your life. Death is not powerful enough to stop life for the forlorn loved ones, and for those who believe and have a hope in Christ, not even for the deceased.

1 Corinthians 15:55
“Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”

I don't why this happened. I hope God is not preparing me for death coping. I just ponder and wonder, I grieve and somber, and pray life can go on with joy in Fumoffu's memory more than anything.

  

Job 1 : 21
and [Job] said:
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.”
And, as I believe nothing is impossible for God, maybe one day I'll see my Fumoffu again! Thank You, Lord, for the gift, joy, laughter, and love she was.