Learning what women need is not what they want!

James 1
19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.

Dear Father,

How wonderful Your mercy is over me. How is it possible I have found myself ever murmuring about my life? I have such a wonderful husband. I often (am stopping right now!) remark to my husband how he doesn't understand women! You see, the only man in my family was my brother. He understands women pretty well. He knows when he should say something to me and when he should not. He knows when I'm in my "emotional days" and how to respond accordingly. He knows that if I am sad, he has to make me laugh. He knows if I am angry, he must talk to me to calm me down. He grew up with his mother, his two sisters and Sarita. Even Fumoffu, our doy, is a she! So, I can see where the practice came.

My husband grew up with his father, his two brothers, and the only female in his house, his mother. So, with that only woman-close encounter, my poor husband strives to understand his wife.
James 1
 26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.
My mother-in-law is a woman who keeps a rein over her tongue. Luckily for my husband, that is the kind of woman he grew up with. Boy, what a surprise for him to realize not all of us are that way. And very surprising since my mother in law has a very strong character (you can really the work You have done in her. Amazing!).

It was a surprise for me too: my husband does not know how to react to his wife's crazyness (men affirm women are crazy; I totally back them up!) My husband doesn't know when to say something to me and when he should not. If I am sad, he sits quietly beside me and holds me. If I am angry, he sits quietly beside me, waiting for it to pass. If I am in my "emotional days", he has this bewildered, lost look on his face that drives me more emotional.

And I, more than anyone, has tons to learn. You see, I don't like to be held when crying because it makes me feel vulnerable. I am of strong character too so you must realize I am already feeling uncomfortable with myself for being so weak and sensitive. I don't like to sit in silence when I am angry because I have so many thoughts going through my head at once I feel I am going to explode in more anger. I don't like it when my husband admonishes me for something right that same instance because it hurts my pride to face my sin immediately.

And I tell him: "honey, if I am angry, please don't sit there quietly. Say something. Honey, if I am sad, please don't touch me. Honey, please don't tell me my wrongs right that instance; find a more suitable time (as if there were.)." And I always end up with: "You don't understand women!" So what happens now is: when I am angry, what he says ends up getting me more wind up. If I am sad, I sit there wishing he would hold me (women!). If he doesnt call out my sins, I tell him he is not helping me be a better person. (You readers must feel very bad for my husband right now)

Poor husband of mine who has had to stand almost all his first year of marriage a wife not spending enough time in the Word to realize what she is realizing now. Again, I give You thanks Father for Your mercy and the fact that it is never too late. I realize now You gave me the man I needed. My brother understood his sisters well enough to keep their crazy womenness checked. My husband wants more than that for me and his love is greater. (I am filled with tears right now humbled of realizing who great my husband's love for me is). Why have I been changing what my husband does for me instead of changing myself, who was really the one who had to change! Instead of learning to control my mind and tongue! Instead of learning to crush my pride! Instead of learning and focusing on what I should do for him, not the other way around!

How amazing You and Your Word are to me, Father. I am delighting in the change of heart You are doing in me. I really want to be a godly wife for my husband and I want to strive to understand him and to make it easier for him to understand me (Because up till now, I have only been contradicting myself. Poor man, how is he going to understand? lol). I remember reading a marriage-counseling book and it said something very interesting: "Don't wait for man to know or guess what you are thinking," I found it interesting because we really do expect that. I guess it is because between women we can expect that; I can always know what my mom or my sis are thinking about. And maybe my brother can too because of all we have lived together. I guess there will be a day when my husband will understand me better, but it will be day when his wife takes heed of this:
James 1
20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

Lord, I pray Thee for a new heart. A woman's heart according to the Lord's. Help me with my angry outburst, my womanly inconsistencies and contradictions, my hormonal emotions, and mainly my stinking pride. Make me self-controlled, peaceful, and ready to do good to everyone, especially her husband. Help me restored all the wrong I have done with changing the ways my husband reacts and follow his lead more closely.

I love you Father, today more than ever!

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