Learning there is no condemnation

James 2
12 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, 13 because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

Finding culprits! I lower my head when meditating in this matter. “Mercy triumphs over judgment.” Oh, Father, were have I left mercy?

“It is your fault!” Shamefully, this is a bad habit I have taught my husband to say. And unfortunately for him, I am more skilled into pin pointing him as the culprit. And so he has learned: “It is always my fault anyways!”

On Saturday, my husband was helping me with lunch. We wanted to make something nice for the weekend to have a romantic time alone. I was preparing the pasta, sauce, and the chicken for lasagna while my husband went to buy some wine and the cheese. When he came back, I was getting started with the jelly dessert (a two level jelly dessert: one using water and the other using milk). He helped me make the beverages while I assembled the lasagna together and put it in the oven. It was really a nice time together. We took everything to the table and when we went back to put the desserts on the fridge, my husband accidentally hit me with his elbow making me drop the desserts on the floor and all over my clothes. I gave a cold glance at him as I went to change and he stayed cleaning. I was thinking as I changed: “Don´t spoil this time by getting upset!” I came back with a better attitude when I saw this sad look on my husband’s face as he said: “I am sorry. It was my fault.” (Tears are in my eyes as I write this. I cry a lot when writing this blog!)

I, feeling heart broken, looked at him and said: “It was nobody’s fault. It was an accident.” But my husband knows his merciless wife, just as my family and friends do. How many times have I admonished others using Bible verses and well-prepared sermons but a ruthless, strong demeanor? How many times have my loved ones been afraid of confessing something to me? And so many other scenarios that show something: I do not have mercy!

Because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful…

Those words resonate in my heart.
Most do not know it is hard for me to show mercy because I am ten times less merciful with myself. One mistake can haunt me down for months. I used to have a hard time falling asleep because I would lay in bed recollecting all my mistakes and feeling miserable over and over again. I am so thankful for all You have done in my life in this area, but I see I have miles to go.

Why the need to find a culprit? I have thought of this and came up with the next reasons:
·         Retribution. If you get the culprit to admit his/her guilt, you get a sense of them getting what they deserve.
·         Humiliation. You want the other one to feel ashamed for what he did.
·         Protection of pride. Pointing out it was another’s fault, takes the blame from you.
·         False pride. Blaming yourself to make things “right” in your own sight.
·         Dumb anger. Our sinful nature that blames someone and makes them feel bad when it wasn’t our intention but it was our reaction.

A simple conclusion: it brings nothing good.  
Of the bad habits in my life, I realize now how dangerous and destructive this one is. The need to find one to blame or even the need to blame oneself is such a witty strategy Satan employs.
Ephesians 6
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
I can see now how deep in that “struggle against powers of the dark” finding a culprit is. And we are lured into falling into this trap; I more than anyone. Satan is very interested in me blaming myself for all my faults. This made it difficult to me to embrace who I am. I have a strong, decisive character. I am loud and talkative. I am impulsive and adventurous. I talk without thinking. I over think everything. I always have an opinion. I don’t sugarcoat the truth. It is very hard for me to me kind and sweet. I am bossy and controlling. Guess what Satan and stinking pride? This is how God made me. Faulty, so I could depend on Him and seek him more wholeheartedly! And so that He could transform me and thus use me. Pride in my heart, yes you are imperfect! And guess what sinful nature? God forgives you and shows you mercy for your faults; you must do so with others.

 Blame is in Satan’s nature; Forgiveness and mercy in God’s.

Dear Father,
Thank You once more for Your bountiful mercies that are new each day. Thank You for the light of truth in Your Word that pierces my being. I ask you forgiveness for failing to do to others as You have done with me. I pray I can be one who “has shown mercy”. Please change the bad habits in my house. Help me transform the habit of finding culprits to showing forgiveness and love. Do not let me sit myself in the culprit's chair anymore and let me sit in the chair of grace Your love and blood has provided for me.
I truly love you!

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