A person with vices... Me?!

I have never considered myself a person of vices. I use to often pride myself that I was not a person prone to fall into addiction. I have never smoked, never had a drink, never liked to go on parties, never had a co-dependent unhealthy relationship. I use to think my only "addictions" were anime and my dogs (can't get enough of them!).

I guess many people like me must think they too are elusive to vices. Well, let's hear a dictionary definition of vice:
a. An evil, degrading, or immoral practice or habit. Anyone here immune to bad habits?
Aha! Leave it to the Holy Spirit to reveal the inner most hidden places of the heart, the ignorance of the mind, and the blinding pride and show me I am a person of many vices.

Cheer up, Linda, it's all good. Everytime the Holy Spirit places your sin before you is because He will enable you to tackle it. So, in the hopes of overcoming my vices, the Holy Spirit kindly gave me the next verse:

Luke 16:10

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.

In other words, start turning your small bad habits into good habits, and you'll turn your big bad habits into great good habits. Of course, overachieving, anxious me wants to start tackling those BIG bad habits of mine, but one of those huge bad habits is my tendency to get ahead of myself and not stay still, (Yes, the verse "Be still and know that I am God" is constantly in my head :P)

Lately I have been struggling, and I mean struggling, to break this small bad habit of mine. It's a vice I've had since I was a little girl. A vice friends and family have asked me to stop and have tried to help me to stop and failed miserably. Having my husband asked me to stop, give me the don't-do-that look when he catches me doing it and I hiding it from him or down right saying to his face I-will-do-it-cause-I-want-to really got me thinking of this serious matter (not so much a little bad habit anymore is it?). Listen to this addict's train of thought: I will stop whenever I decide to. I will only do it when I needed the outlet, but I am still in control (biggest lie an addict says!). Till now that I do it unconsciously. And that is the thing with habits; you do them without thinking and to break it you are going to think of it constantly. Breaking a bad habit is so hard. It's not just about thinking to do the opposite, but constantly thinking about not falling into it. And boy, when you more think of not doing something, the more tempting it is to do it. Oh, flesh of mine, lowly sinful being that you are. And YOU thought mighty YOU was not a person of vices?!!!!!

Here is my small vice that has even given me a sleepless night (no joke) with me battling not to fall in it: biting my nails. Vice? Nail bitting is a vice? Let's go back to that definition: An evil, degrading, or immoral practice or habit. C'mon, nail bitting isn't evil, degrading or immoral! You are overreacting! Yeah, flesh jumps to say that. But it causes you disobedience and dishonor to your husband, lack of self-control, and, lets not forget, how ugly those hands look. How many bad habits do you have that aren't evil, degrading, or immoral in themselves but bring about those descriptions? How about the bad habit of leaving your clothes in the bathroom that causes your sister some discomfort and makes her aggravated? I can name a few habits people don't break because it "only harms themselves":

-being disorganized (loses time and causes other's discomfort)
-leaving the shoes where you took them off.
-leaving the floor wet after a shower (hazardous)
-always chosing first. (seriously, this is a vice for some. think of others much?)
-tv or radio too loud or on late at night.
-staying up late and oversleeping. (so, you are loud when others are sleeping, and asleep when others need you to cooperate?!)
-make mean jokes about others present or not; hand out nicknames.

And this are just the "small" habits. How about the big bad habits:
-gossiping or judging.
-gluttony (yes vice! Causes your parents budget to stretch on food and health and your lack of regards for others!)
-unable to stay quiet when angry or when being admonished.
-impatient, exasperated responses.
-calling other's attention in public.
- raising your voice when your husband forgets he is not in a fast and furious movie when driving!
-being unpunctual

How about the uncospicuous bad habits:
-tv watching, tv series addiction.

Ok, I feel better again remembering the Luke verse, one thing at a time, and you'll get to all of the bad habits in your life.

Today, I stand before you with a complete month without biting my nails (it's the longest I've lasted and the longest they've been). They look quite nice. My hubby bought me nail polish yesterday and was excited to see my hands nicely done. Seriously, I look at them and feel an urge to bite them (like if they were a cadburry's chocolate bar). When I am in a lot of stress, biting them to almost bleeding distance but stinging pain don't-ask-me-why gives me alot of release from the stress or nerves. This is when it's hardest not to, since my job is pretty stressful. I constantly think of not biting them and I am constantly going to the bathroom to wash my hands. I can't stand them, however I will continue till having long nails and never biting them is the habit and I do THAT unconsciously.

Even in this "meaningless" things, I am glad I can do all thing through Him Who gives me strength.
This is something I've done all my life. Is there something you do that you need to change before the rest of your life habits go unchanged?

For some good habits I recommend:

Counting gifts:

*235 it's only 49 days till christmas and 31 days till I see my sister and mother again! I am seriously counting days!
*236 better relationship with my coworkers, but mainly, better testimony on my behalf.
*237 a great night with my husband's friends from San Pedro Sula and some from here!
*238 a great afternoon with Mely and Johnny
*239 a father that knocks my door to give a helping hand. So humbled by this act of my father. I seriously need to be more grateful for him and care more about him
*240 a skype japanese lesson with Pit
*241 sunny days in November
*242 moving to another office with windows! I'll see if it is raining, or day or night!
*243 a humble man as a husband
*244 a weekend filled with strength!
*245 finally teaching my puppies something!
*246 my plants are still alive
*247 many friends with upcoming kids. happily waiting for my turn
*248 my mother's helping hand from afar.

God Bless.

1 comment:

  1. all of that, Lynda, and I knew all along what you were going to say your vice was – I really did! I kept thinking – I know what she's going to say – and then you said it. And you are so right about changing habits – and you are so right about those things we say aren't harmful because they don't hurt anyone else

    And of your thank you list – my favorite – a husband with a humble heart. I'm really glad you have one of those. In this 11 months of blogging. I have never prayed for more couples – EVER in my whole life. And I just finished praying for you two. God bless and keep you both. I hearted this Lynda – I really did – and good for you for staying away from your nails.