Learning You are in control!

Ohayo gosaimasu Lord!
I am a firm believer that everything that happens is in God's control. But I forget to live by that in my daily walk. A couple of weeks ago I was watching the movie Evan Almighty. Ok, not exactly the place to find divine revelation but I liked a quote of the movie: "If you ask God for pacience, do you think He makes you patien or give you an opportunity to be patient? If you ask God for a closer family, do you think He fills your hearts with warm feelings for each other or does He give you an opportunity to grow closer?" Everything in life is an opportuniy to do good. So I forgot I asked You, darling Father, for self-control. See, I easily get desperate. I easily loose my cool, stress out, freak out, and loose my peace and calm. It is hard for me to relax. And here I am asking my God to learn to control that. So what did You do? You gave me an opportunity.

I got my new contact lenses. Man, they are killing me. It's like having a pebble on your shoe, except it's in your eye and you put it there and should not take it out. Here I am dieing to take them out. Just wishing I could pull my eyes out! That is how extremely desperate I am to have this discomfort all day long!!! The worst thing is that my doctor said I should wear them a few hours each day til I get used to them and learn to use them all day long. The thing is that if I take them out is exactly like you see it in the movies: Everything goes blur! Seriously! I'm not exagerating this part. After my sweet eyes relax because they are able to see (my eyelids and eyesockets are the ones in pain), when deprived of such vision they are unable to see untill I again stress them to see and do what my brother calls my "Casimiro" look. I won't say what my old band Atake, Paolo and Perry, used to refer to this particular face I do when I squint my eyes to see.

Thank You for Your Spirit, that instead of letting me indulge in my discomfort, bad attitudes, and go to the negative places in my mind, it made me put my eyes on You. I need to learn to relax and not let the circumstances take control of my emotions. If it is a different situation that happens all of sudden, I don't think I will react my best. But this is a stable situation that causes stress and I can use this to learn to control my reactions and attitudes for when the sudden uncomfortable situations come. It is my opportunity to grow in self-control. Character is something you build on, not accidentally stumble upon. I must work to grow in character. Earnestly meditating and training my mind to be wise and righteous. Man of character don't happen because of wishful thinking. They happen with hard work, hard trials, longsuffering (I like that word. And it expresses a lot of what I am feeling!), hard study in Your Word, strong fellowship and much more. I want that! 

It would have been so easy for my heart to murmur on such a blessing! Yes, it bothers alot. Yes, it gets my nerves rambled. But I am blessed to be able to see when others can't. I can go further. I am blessed I am able to afford contacts when others are unable to do anything about their poor sight. I am blessed to have a God that cares!

Dear Father,
I see now Your providence in trials that are opportunities for me to have my prayers answered. Thank you for teaching me to take control of my emotions in the situations I can't control. Thank You for teaching this control-freak that she has never been in control, but You are! Thank you for the blessing of sight. Let me never forget how lucky I am. Keep giving me opportunities to grow and when they come, let me put my lucky eyes on You.

John 13
 36 Simon Peter asked him, “Lord, where are you going?”
   Jesus replied, “Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later.”
 37 Peter asked, “Lord, why can’t I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.”
 38 Then Jesus answered, “Will you really lay down your life for me? Very truly I tell you, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!

Had I heard You say that to Peter, I would have prayed: "Don't let that happen!" But You knew why it was necessary and the fruits it would bring in Peter's life! Let me remember You are in control!
I love You!

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