A stirring desire and Your great power!

Ephesians 1
"17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. 18 I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, 19 and his incomparably great power for us who believe. "

I wish I had someone praying that for me! I wish I prayed that for my loved ones more often. "..eyes of your heart enlightened..." Such beautiful words!!!

Dear Father,

I have been thinking of You alot! (Thank You ^_^) But, I have been thinking of what to do for You. I have been feeling a calling to serve You better by helping those who need help the most. I remember a speech from my dear friend Marcela. She was preaching of what she had in her hands to serve You. She said: "I am not a talented singer to reach people through an evangelistic band. I am not a talented speaker." (How wrong she was!) "This were the excuses of Moses, so You gave him a rod. What is my rod? What have You put in my hands to serve others? You gave me the ability to cook! And through cooking I will serve You with what You placed in my hands!" My dear friend Marcela would wake up early morning on Saturdays to cook for the hungry people of the streets of Comayaguela. People so torn apart by drugs and poverty they could barely think straight. But they knew too things well: Marcela is her name and she feeds us; She comes to talk of Jesus! I only went to serve with Marcela once. This I now highly regret. I have never been known for cooking up until recently. I do not think cooking is the rod in my hand You have placed for I am not as skilled as Marcela. Right now You placed something in my hands: a job that provides money!

No, I am not rich and I don't have abundant money to spare. I have enough for me and my family and a little extra. I have been obsessing about this little extra. I try hard to save it to afford maybe a car or new stuff for the house. I begin saving some and something always happens: I get sick, the car needs repairing, or any other need that makes my saved money go puff! I get frustrated at the fact that I can never save enough and I work so hard, and I make enough to have a good saving, and bla bla bla!!! Recently, I have realized all the blessings around this. First, had I been able to save some I would have gotten a loan or a debt that would be sofocating me. Had I saved enough and afford my wishes I would have indulged my flesh and vanity more.  Had I not realized this through my beautiful fellowship with You, I would still get into disputes with my husband for money issues or still be comparing myself with others and their possessions. Possessions... so wonderfully put by Paul as garbage!

So, I want to put this little extra for good use. I have been flirting with two ideas: put a comedor de amor to serve meals for people in hunger on the weekends and get to minister them (an idea and name from my church in Mexico) or put a classroom for people in a barrio and teach and feed them on the weekend. Both would play to my strengths and joys of teaching and cooking! I would need financial help from others, as well as others willing to serve. But I want to do this. I want to start this, even if I have to sacrifice the costs, time, and effort at first. I want to invest myself in You.

Fear starts crawling up my neck as I write this. Doubt because I need the money, because I am too sick or tired, because no one will help me, because it is too dangerous, because it is too difficult and out of my comfort zone, because I am too weak!

Ephesians 1:
"19 and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength 20 he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, 21 far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come."

Rest assure, my soul, your God and His power are mighty. So, this is my prayer. To be Your hands and feet, even if for the weekend. But I have to start dieing to my desires (specially my desire to rest all through the weekend and do nothing). I have to start giving myself to others for the name of He Who died for me to give me an inheritance.

Beautiful Savior,
Let me pray this prayer of Paul's for my family and loved ones. Open the eyes of my heart to Your riches and the blessings You give us everyday we spend with You. Make this desire grow, strengthen and become a reality. Take me to the place You want me to spread Your light and You can use me completely. Give me the strength, support, prayer, and wisdom to carry this endeavour out. Be my strength, support, and light! As I prayed to You when I first met You, that Your desires become my dreams, and Your will be done in me.

I love You! I do, I do...:)

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