The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love

Galatians 5

⁶ "...The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love."

Galatians 6

 ¹ "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. ² Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. ³ If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. ⁴ Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, ⁵ for each one should carry their own load. "

Hello heavenly Father,

Carry each other's burden, huh? I remember once Gustavo Zepeda (one of our pastors) said to me: "Are you feeling sad? The best cure for that: go and give the gospel to someone or go find a need to fill." Lately I have been feeling a little without purpose and sad. I realize why. I am not making a difference in anybody's life. I could only make my husband an exception. I justify myself saying the reason for this is that I am no longer a teacher so I don't get to minister my students. I also use the I-have-too-much work or I-have-been-ill excuse. Honestly, the main reason is I have no fellowship. I have no one's burdens to carry and no one to carry mine (again, my husband is the only exception). Fellowship with just my husband is not enough. I was thinking of my "close" friends; I don't have any. I haven't seen my dearest friend Tito in I don't know how long. I do not know his burdens, let alone help him carry them. I am so grateful Jenny tries to keep close, but I do not help her carry her burdens either. And so many friends I really, really adore and wish to see and haven't in the longest time. I barely talk to my family (phone bills are huge) and I get the minimum update in the quick talks (if there are any!).

I try to make a difference in my coworkers here but I only end up very frustrated and mocked. They think that my ideas on marriage and children and life are outdated and stupid, and I do not have to follow so closely what "religion" (a.k.a the Bible) says. I guess that is why Paul encourage us to do good especially to the family in Christ.

I have never felt this way before. I can pretty much assure that if any of my friends or coworkers needed advice or help, they would not come to me. I am not there for anyone. I understand my deep sadness: I am not a part of anything else other than my marriage. Not part of a group or a ministry or my family or my family in Christ.

I am struggling to go to church more often. I should have paid Galatinas 6:7 ^"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows." more close atention. I am reaping the fruits of my abandonement of the church. Honestly, this makes me really sad too. I have never been this way. I was always involved in everything in my church and missing a meeting was out of the question. What really worries me is I have no longing or desire to go to my church. I guess it is the result of so much flesh sowing (Galatians 6:8).

Wow, I started the post thinking I had not much to say. I long to serve You, Father, and I long for fellowship in which I can serve others and learn from them and lean on them. That I do. I often wonder if my disinterest is a sign I should no longer be in the church I am in (although I remember how I taught others who felt the way I do today this was not the answer). I have also been struggling to do things without my husband (going to meetings when he can't). Seriously? I have so much to say about the subject? Your Word uncovers what's hidden in my heart. I think this is the first time I write my blog hoping readers can offer counsel back. All I can do is meditate in Your Word, pray for a change of heart in the areas I am hardened, and start taking steps of obedience.

Dear Father,

I am sorry I have been living a self-centered life. I want my life to have a purpose; that purpose: give You glory. I am to give You glory by doing good to others. I want to give You glory by helping my brothers and sisters carry their burdens, and be exposed to let them carry mine. I want to give You glory by helping others know the truth of Your Gospel .I thank You for the wonderful fellowship I have in my husband. Help me stop depending on him to move around and use that as an excuse to not serve on my free time. Change how my prideful heart feels towards the wonderful church You have taken me to. Transform my heart to receive the blessing You have for my life through my church and the loving fellowship of the body of Christ. Father, may I be a part of the extension of Your Kingdom. Change my sadness into joy. Use my hands and feet to fill needs in others and use theirs to fill mine through the bond of love.

I love You, Father, never stop bringing light into my eyes.